Thursday, January 30, 2014

Intro and welcoming the Wise Woman

I'm Sara.  I live on a ranch in Central Texas with my sons ages 12 and nearly 14, and husband Ralph. We raise grass-fed beef, and I also serve on the board of a public company, which is turning into my late-life career.  This is my second year in the moon circle, and third time doing the Circle of Self year.  I find I get more out of it with each turn of the wheel.

The more open I receiving to guidance, the more serendipity appears in my life.  In the past week, three major sources have urged me to take a look at my life history, my memories; to look for places where I am being triggered into unconscious behavior.  When the first of these (my Alanon sponsor) suggested that I spend a couple weeks going through my memories, looking for strong emotions, I was really resistant.  For me, gut-level resistance to a trusted friend's advice is usually a sign that I REALLY need to do it.  Then, looking at the upcoming cycle, I see the same theme to be the focus.  And if I hadn't quite got the message, I was listening to an Eckhardt Tolle audio-book this morning and he said "Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now.  And if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?"

Earlier this week, I attended a boy scout meeting with my boys.  They recently changed school districts, moving to be closer to their father, and we are now alternating weeks of custody.  It was my first meeting with their new troop; their Dad (and step-mom's) territory of friends.  I made a conscious intention to go in without baggage or defenses about being the outsider, confident of my ability to make friends.  Within minutes, an incident triggered my vulnerabilities, and I found myself reacting from the little girl, not the wise woman.

So, Carolyn's questions for the waxing moon are spot on for me.  I will spend the next two weeks probing my memories and watching my reactions.  Somewhere in my head, I hear the driver of the Night Bus (from Harry Potter) saying "Hang on, It's going to be a bumpy ride".

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

January Dark Moon Musings by Carolyn

Just a few notes on my experience of dark moon approaching.  I heard my negative self talk pretty loudly this week. You know, that part that never runs out of self-doubt.  The tape is so familiar, I can recite it myself without any cue cards--and in fact I often do.  "STOP!" an old friend said as I whined on and on.  And this friend IS old.  Probably in his 80's though I don't ask.  He suggested I write an amends to myself for all that put-down talk; write an amends to the Carolyn that put so much time into studying and working for her degrees and her license, and years of practicing and honing her skills.  Write to the Carolyn that commits to her purpose of supporting others in their quests for growth and health. Write to the Carolyn who wakes up with visions for creating websites and books and paintings.  I fussed with him about the idea, but I listened and I did it.  I wrote pages--and pages. Then I read them out loud and I made my self listen. Well, I didn't make myself--after all that writing, I WANTED to listen.
I did the Gestalt two chair exercise--the one where one part of you sits in one chair and another part sits across in another chair, and the person talks to both parts of themselves by moving back and forth between chairs.  I sat in the negative self talker chair and I read my amends to my professional, creative and inspired self. I read that what was behind all my talk  was the need for staying small (so I could be safer) and not getting made fun of, or attacked, or shamed or making a mistake (does any of this sound familiar in your life??).  I read out loud  to the Carolyn in the other chair about recognizing how much all this had hurt the me that had worked hard and long and for years. I said I would do my best to stop the bad self talk habit (an addiction?).
That was a couple nights ago.  Something has shifted in me.  My willingness  to write an amends to my self gave me permission to hear the part of me that puts myself down and holds me back and shames me. She/I got to talk and I/Me listened from the heart.  My wise old friend, it seems, is a male incarnation of Talks With Relations. Since then, the negative voice is almost inaudible-just a little squeak now and then-I'm using it as a reminder to wake up and pay attention to myself-recenter and refocus on the moment. And, with less background noise I can hear (I) inspiration and (G)guidance much more clearly.  If it hadn't been so frigging cold up hear in the western suburbs of Chicago, I would have sat in my hot-tub under the dark moon to give thanks and allow the lesson to settle even deeper within.  But it's really still pretty darn cold, so instead, I'm taking this dark moon opportunity to share a blog-post.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Welcome to the Moon Cycle Circle by Carolyn

With a desire to create connection and community this private blog space is a virtual circle where we can meet outside of our call time.  You are each invited as 'authors' to this site and can contribute as you wish.

This blog circle is place where we can share our thoughts and experiences as we move through each cycle.
We can post a 'selfie' so we can have a visual of each other. My resent version with our dog Molly:
We can ask questions.
We can share photos of our sacred space or photos of the moon as she shows herself.

How we can use this blog is unlimited to our circle and yet is is very private, being view-able only to those who are members/authors and have been invited by the administrator (that would be me).

My intention would be to post all the information for calls and for each month here as well.

What do you think?