Tuesday, July 26, 2016
From Mary Z: Jamie Sams writes, “In her wisdom, Loves All Things teaches us that we can find the joys of physical life, without trying to escape our pain through becoming addicted to false pleasures or compulsive behavior patterns.”
I have a pattern of diffusing painful situations with humor or flattery only to succumb to internalizing the hard feelings I could not express to another. Carolyn talked about forgiveness. If forgiveness is for the self, how does one forgive when the feelings come from within one’s own self?
I only recently realized how angry I was at someone who had taken advantage of me a few months back. I feel I cannot forgive him without him understanding how hurt I was. Yet tonight I was finally able to express my feelings in writing. A weight was lifted when I wrote down the words. Is that the healing feeling of forgiveness?
I become overwhelmed trying to figure out where I took the wrong turns in life that leave me so unhappy so often in the present. Focusing on a current emotion and doing something about it fostered a lightness I have not felt in a while. Can past sins be forgiven by breaking a few patterns in the present?