Waiting to Speak Truth

There are days when what to say eludes me.
The urge to speak is strong, yet no words come.
I look around for hints or clues: checking out this book or that;
I  listen for what others have to say to inspire me or point me in a right direction.
I'm looking for clues to say what is, as of yet,still unknown to me.
So, I sit and wait.
My body becomes increasingly antsy.
My emotions are rattled; crabby, resentful.
My mind races, doubts, and eventually, worn down by her antics, shuts down.
Can I keep from getting desperate, and speak what would be contrived? not true?

The story is there, just not revealed, not at this time.
I can only look within and patiently wait,
Compassionately wait.
If I judge myself for not knowing,
If I try too hard to make the story come,
I may not hear the still small voice when she begins to whisper.
Not having words to speak, when I need to speak, is agony.

Self Reflection:  There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.Maya Angelou (1928-2014)