I read the prayer for this month:
“Mother, heal my heart so that I can see
The gifts of yours that can live through me.”
I now get a chance to see how I live this prayer in action. First I did not acknowledge I had bleeding shins and knees (had on a long skirt that cover my injuries) and I did not want to take any help from the bus people or fill out an accident report (avoiding dealing with the bureaucracy. When I got home several hours later I cleaned my wounds bandaged them and went to bed.
I look back and wonder, what was self caring, what was pride, what was needing to be in control, what was rational deciding? Hmmm. After my slip and fall, I did go to a nearby bathroom and washed my wounds with soap and water and got the bleeding to stop, so I wasn't in total stubborn mode. The next morning I made an appointment with my health care practitioner and sure enough I have a nice whiplash, with all the corresponding symptoms. So, I am learning to work a little, rest a little, go get treatments, work a little rest a little, go to bed. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. For me this is a month for learning about caring for myself, and definitely for healing not only my physical injuries, but letting go of some old life scripts that are eating away at my productivity,creativity and joy.
I have been making some changes in how I look at my life and the actions I take to live more in alignment with what I currently know to be the gifts I have been lent for this time in my life. It's not unusual for some of us to have physical ailments or injuries following times when we take a step forward in our life. For me, this is a time when I will find reasons to withdraw, go into hiding and retreat from my work. In short, I have a physical ailment which is chance to shut down. I think this happens because I don't take a refreshing breather at the end of a big step-but usually just keep plowing on, Well, the whiplash doesn't allow this. So I'm going to go rest now!
I'm wondering if any of you are having Healing opportunities?
Oh, my, what a story, Carolyn. I hope you are mending well. I'll see how you're doing first-hand tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHere's my healing opportunity: The two guys in my family--husband and 16 yr old son--have taken it upon themselves to warn me about 'overdoing it' and chastise me when they think I have done so. This is mostly in reference to using my right shoulder, which I hurt in May of 2013 while swinging on a rope swing over a fine Texas river. After 6 months of therapy and 6 more of maintenance, I began to work out during this summer, using little barbels and gentle yoga. Well, it has become inflamed to a certain extent when I employ certain motions. The guys have again had to help me carry stuff or close doors, etc. I can easily get defensive when they issue their statements. But I've taken to thanking them for caring. In my parents' neighborhood here in Schaumburg, they were climbing trees (one of my former favorite past times.) I tested the waters, so to speak. Hubby said to be careful. I decided I would just be happy watching them. At tree #2 I tested the angle of my shoulder to the tree branch and was able to hoist myself. The keys here are mindfulness coupled with gratitude for my guys.