Monday, December 7, 2015

A Share from Carolyn

There are many ways to receive guidance;
I had a visit from Wolf.
I attended a SoulCollage Card Workshop
We were invited to create a soulcollage card.
Hundreds of images cut from magazines were piled high on the conference table.
Out of all of them, two wolf images caught my eye.
Although I continued to sort and look through the stacks, these two images were insistent on being a part of my collage.  So I gave in and took my seat at the art table.

Following directions I created my card--or more truthful to say, I cooperated with my card creating itself-for it did not turn out the way I was thinking it should be.
Then, following more directions from our leader, I asked my wolf-card what it had to say to me:
"Wait to leap until the waters are still.  Use your strong emotions to help you center and stay focused."

Well, that is mostly the opposite of what I do.  I make changes in the midst of chaos and rest (from exhaustion) when things are (finally) quiet.  Timely wisdom.  I will take it to heart.

Carolyn's SoulCollage Wolf Card

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Share Truth or Share Delusions

A brief interruption on our exploration of qualities needed to share truth--or maybe the perfect example?

Today's MoonCycleCircle blog gives her posting space over her space to a colleagues's post:
Dr. Kelly Flanagan on the ego, connection and co-creation

Carolyn writes: I chose to share Kelly's post because he shared so clearly the challenge of discerning Truth and Delusion, He describes how easily delusion is taken as truth, and how this comes to be so. He names the difficulty and vital importance of coming to know Truth and the courage to share Truth in the world.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Connecting Our Hearts to Our Visions

Carolyn writes:
This past July, I had the privilege of spending a weekend with Bob and Lee Nitsch, the son and daughter-in-law of the late Grandmother Twylah Nitsch.  Twylah was the Seneca Elder who shared the Seneca teachings of Cycles of Truth, a foundational part of the Moon Circle Journal, with all who would listen.  Bob and Lee carry on her work, and came to Philadelphia to lead a weekend seminar for contemplating and experiencing the meaning of the Cycles of Truth in our life.  Participants were invited to take contemplation time outside in the gardens surrounding our meeting place.  During one walking meditation, I came across this placard peeking out from among the flowers:

When I uploaded the pictures off my I-phone last week the photo I snapped of Jung's quote was the one that 'just happened' to land in the front of the album. Jung's quote is fitting for the waxing moon phase for October's call to walk and work with/in Truth. I think about my difficulties having 'clarity of vision' and I reflect on Sara's intuitive interconnection of visions, dreams, goals and desires on the Waxing Moon journal page. I ask myself, "where inside me, do I need to look (or sense) more fully, deeply, thoroughly to be more fully awake to my work and to the way I walk in my life? Am I willing to look there?"

Self reflection: Are there places I need to look within myself to be more fully awake to my vision for my life? Am I willing to look?

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

The Benefits of Transmuting Baggage

When we start to let go and release our baggage, the next experience we are likely to have is that memories will begin to bubble up from our sub-conscious and unconscious.
The revealing of memories from our past is a required step toward living more fully in the Truth of our life, rather than living an image of our life.

Note that memories are revealed; they are NOT meant to be relived

Self Reflection: As I release each memory, I reclaim the energy held in the memory and take it back into myself.
This transmuted* energy  purifies through my heart and first is energy to strengthen and heal myself, then energy to share in serving others. Letting go opens the way for me to transmute my old way of being and doing.  

*To transmute is to completely change in form, appearance or nature-especially to a higher form. 

I have the ability to shift my emotional energy to a creative force rather than a destructive force.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Consciousness and Conscience: The Way of Serving Truth

"At root one searches for God by only one way, i.e. in following the truth with all the sincerity of one's conscience."   (Thomas Merton, from The Courage for Truth, Letters to Writers pg 209- in a letter to Victoria Ocampo) 

We enter the 14 Days of the Waning Moon Phase

Stop now and take a moment to ask:

What was my starting point in this cycle?
What has been added to make my life full in this cycle?
What are my victories, my efforts, no matter how tiny they might seem, that add to the ultimate and 
       inevitable illumination of my life?
What would I wish to keep?
What would I to wish share?
What would I not have added, if given the chance for a do-over (these are called regrets)?

Let these words rest with you again. The wisdom you receive from this reflection will serve you to step out with consciousness (and conscience) in Service to Truth.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Collective Aspect of Self: Hearing and Speaking Truth in the World

We live in a concrete, material world.  Yet, our efforts, intentions and actions contribute to an energetic template that creates the collective consciousness for this earth and all her beings.  Most particularly, this template effects the growth and direction of all human beings.  This is not like putting your vote in the ballot box and being only one vote amongst many.  What we add to the template is energy. Energy cannot be destroyed, and when combined with other energies it becomes a massive force.  Our contribution is like the drop of rain combining with many drops, create the path for, and become the flow of an entire river, then ocean.   Yes! Our works matter, and create matter. By our life we are creating the template for human development and evolution.  

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Living Our Creative Fullness is Our Gift to the World: Collective Aspect of Self

Nothing is more beautiful or powerful than an individual acting out of his or her conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life. Norman Cousins

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Seeing Truth in Our Creative Life: Work/Career, Leisure, Finances, Philanthropy

The Creative Aspect of Self is the place where we consciously join with Creator to live our life to our fullest potential.   We make the decision to let go of our need to be in charge and control of our creative energies. We become willing to have an open mind and heart to receive Creator’s gifts—inspiration, guidance, direction, and impulse so we may be out in the world manifesting and fulfilling our birthright, our purpose.

Here in this place we do not work alone!  And yet, we alone do the work.  We alone are responsible for our actions.  Yet our actions are made known to us ONLY by our letting go of ‘my way’, the need to control. Preconceived ideas, notions and beliefs—which may be conscious, unconscious or subconscious MUST be set aside for our vision for our life to come clear.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Knowing and Accepting the Truth for the Creative Aspect of My Life.

This poem came to me as I sat in my morning contemplation:

Oh, that I would be the lily of the field,
Or the bird on the wing,
Or the seed in the soil,
How would I be if I were these?
Life would flow from me,
              and through me,
                             and in me.
I would be both the river and the river bed.

How is it that I am not that now?
I am rather the dam that stops the flow of me,
              of Grace through me out into the world.

To know and accept the Truth as it is in my creative life, [my work, how I spend my leisure time (if in fact I consciously give myself play time), my attention to my finances, and my philanthropy] requires willingness to know Truth, no matter what I fear Truth might be (I do confess it is never, ever as bad as I fear it will be.).   Harder yet, is to accept the immense creative fullness of Truth as creator has ordained it for me, for all of us. 

I pray for the willingness and grace to know and accept the Truth of my creative, abundant being;  remove my dam, let my life flow.  

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Reviewing Relationships as Offerings and Gifts

Every relationship in life is an offering and a gift to other from me; and to me from the other. Taking each element of the Relationship Self, what person first comes to mind when sitting with each of these elements: Friends and Colleagues, Partner, Family, Children.
What are the gifts and offerings between us?

As I move forward in my life, which of these relationships calls most strongly to me to pay attention to through the remainder of this year?

When I am able to Know and Accept Truth in my relationships, I am able to receive them as the life enriching Gift and Offering they are. 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Learning and Honoring Truth about My Relationships with Others, with Self, with Creator

What if all my relationships with others were reflections (mirrors) back to me of the truth about my relationship with myself?  What if my relationships with others were also mirrors for my relationship with Creator/Great Mystery/God? 

Now, change these questions to statements. 

My relationships with others—are a reflection of my relationship with myself.  How I treat others, behave toward others, believe about others, is a mirror of the same I do, have, and think about myself.

My relationship with others mirrors myself in attitude, behavior, relatedness, and belief toward God. 

Knowing this as Truth.  What would I, will I change in my relationships? 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Waning Moon: Reflecting on Our Relationships

We are spiritual beings residing in a physical body. Even during those times when it’s tough being human, our body is always a gift from Creator.  One of the gifts of having a body is…having relationships with other human beings.  Human beings fail to thrive and often fail to survive when they are deprived of relationships with other humans. 
Our relationships are what weaves the web of connection between all people, communities, and the world. Take time to visualize the interconnectedness of our relationships to those close to us, with those relationships where we are more peripherally connected. We will very soon see an intricate pattern of relatedness. Think not so much as 6 degrees of separation, but 94 degrees of connection! 

We are all connected. How we act toward others creates either more love and peace, or more hatred and violence. 

“Am I willing to face the Truths about my relationships with others?  Just sit, with compassion for your self, allow this question to incubate. 

Monday, August 3, 2015

Waning Moon and My Personal Self; Part 2

For Inspiration and Pondering: Do I feel called to set goals to heal or grow certain Elements of my Personal well being or to make significant changes, started any new endeavors—such as yoga, meditation, exercise, weight loss, doing mind strengthening activities, started a spiritual practice made a commitment to break habit or deal with an addiction?

If I am willing to look, I will see patterns within the elements of my Personal Self which have been most impacted over these past months.  In response to any challenges in one element of my Personal Self, another element has been more likely to either take the impact, pick up the slack, or come to rescue the other element.  For example, if  emotionally triggered, the physical body may take the heat, by misusing food, drugs, alcohol. Or, fear and lack of trust or faith rise up, shaking up my Spirit.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Waning Moon and The Four Aspects; Personal Self Part 1

 Over the course of the days between the full moon and the closing of this moon cycle, we will reflect on the different Aspects of our Self as they have been revealed  to us on our journey through the cycles leading up to this Blue Moon.  For those who have worked with the Circle of Self Whole Person Transformation materials, this will be a review. For those new to this process, I hope this is a refreshing support to your life journey.  

The Four Aspects and Their Elements of Our Self 

Take a day or two in this cycle to reflect on any significant events you may have had since the beginning of this year which have impacted your life in any way.   Note whether you experienced these as positive, challenging, a gift, or detrimental.  We begin with the Aspect of our Personal Self. What parts of your Personal Self were most effected?  You physical body, your mind, your emotions, your spirit? 

Circle of Self

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Full Moon, Shining Light on the Spiral Path of Our Dreams

Sara's poem from the Full Moon Journal Page:

Spiral Path
of Evolving Spirit
Decisions made, lessons learned
I take my place
A Woman's Dream

Ponder This:
What are the decisions I have made about, in, and for my life?
My decisions have always been informed by my dreams, whether I have been conscious of my dreams, or not.
Now, I have the awareness to dream consciously.
Now, I have the option to realize my dreams.
How will I allow myself to be nourished so they may be realized?

Friday, July 31, 2015

On Receiving the Gifts of Truth

Sit with the understanding the Cycles of Truth are Gifts we receive to support us in becoming the fullness of who we were created to be in this life.  Cycles: meaning to come around again and again, to have a regular rhythm and flow, a completion of a series.

Cycles have specific patterns and effects; familiar, yet each time we experience them, they bring something new.  Sometime the gift is wonderful, joyful, expansive.  Sometimes, until we have fully received the gift, we may feel it as a burden, or even a punishment.

To consciously receive the benefit of the Gifts of Truth we must give space and time for the fullness and depth of the gifts of Truth as they continue to come into our lives.  When confusion comes with the gift, as it often does, know that con-fusion is a sign that our old understandings are giving way to new and fuller knowing.  Eventually, this new and fuller knowing will give way to even fuller knowing, and the cycle will keep continuing. 

Prayer:  May I become a graceful receiver of all Your gifts of Truth.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

What Does Love Truth Mean?

We come to the close of the waxing cycle for this Blue Moon with the Cycle of Love Truth.  Jamie Sams’ Clan Mother story relating to this Cycle of Truth is the tale of Loves All Things. It is the story of the intense pain and harm which comes from the misperception that Love is impermanent, cannot transcend time or space, and of the damage that we as human beings can do when we do not understand the true nature of Love. 

Love is the source of ALL creation.  What does it mean to Love Truth in all her forms and all her presentations? When we have opened ourselves to Learn Truth, to Honor Truth as we learn it, to Know and Accept Truth as it is revealed to us, we can then See and Hear Truth.  When we live with these qualities growing within us, are able to Love Truth as it comes to us, from us and through us.  We begin to understand that our loving others is another way Creator/Great Mystery/God loves all things.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Speak Truth: Requirements and a Fairy Tale

Can we ever fully comprehend the power held in our words?   Remember the phrase “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”? Words do hurt, they can damage the human spirit in ways that can never be mended; even bully and shame others to the point of suicide. Words can also inspire hope, open a heart to unconditional love, and bring healing to body, mind and spirit. 
To Speak Truth is so much more than the spoken word, especially in our post-modern world of technology and instant communication.  At minimum it requires:  
1) We know truth in ourselves and have done an honest appraisal of our intention and motivation for speaking.  
2) We have an honest sense of the possible impact and effect of our words on others. 
3) Our words are in alignment with the words of Creator/Great Mystery/God. 

Prayer:  Creator, I offer my voice to You, as a tool for speaking Your wisdom, Your Truth.

And a fairy tale for Speak Truth:  Toads and Diamonds.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Hear the Truth: Jumping Mouse's Lessons Continue

...And as for Jumping Mouse, his willingness to follow the wisdom he heard from those he met along the way, to leap as high as he could and risk it all to see the bigger Truth, made all the difference.  In this story we also find Mouse learned to discriminate what he heard as either Truth or fear.  For us too, as we follow the rhythms of the moon cycles and move along the paths of the Cycles of Truth our ability to discriminate the voice of Great Mystery/God/Creator from the voice of our own ego-based fear, or the fears of others will shift. We set our intention to listen with larger ears, to listen with the ears of our soul. To listen with our inner ears.

I am reminded of the Song of the Ancestors, from one of my Vision Quests: “I hear the voices of my ancestors calling me. 'Listen, listen', they say, 'listen Listen'…”  The voices of our ancestors speak to us through the sounds of nature. When we take time to listen to the sounds of nature, we hear wisdom coming to us.  The wisdom of those who have journeyed this path before us may be best spoken to us through Mother Earth’s creatures.  

When what we see and what we hear come into alignment, we are finally able to hear the voice of God/Great Mystery/Creator.  When we have surrendered all our other senses and preconceived experiences, finally we can Hear Truth.  

If you haven't heard JumpingMouse--Read On !

Monday, July 27, 2015

See Truth. How to See With Wiser Eyes

I take time to ‘see’. In this Cycle of Truth, my eyes and Creators Eyes become One.  I see my own world view through my eyes, yet my eyes are also the eyes through which Creator sees Creator’s Creation. Lee Nitsch shared with to hold the image of Eagle/Eagle’s eyes just above my own eyes.  If I take my intention and focus to see through the eyes of Eagle, how does my world view change?  Eagle sees minuscule detail as well as broad expanse.  Imagine flying as Eagle, soaring.  How does the world look from this perspective?  

When I can see clearly the Truth surrounding my perceived struggles, I become my true self, just as did mouse, in the Native American story of  Jumping Mouse . I, too, must find my willingness to give up my limited point of view.   All the totem animals in the story of Jumping Mouse that come to support mouse  on his journey, (raccoon, frog, buffalo, wolf and eagle) have much wisdom for us as well…Read the story and find out.  Jumping Mouse 

I can learn to and must request to see with God’s Eyes.  I can learn to see (discrimination and discernment)  the tiny details of things. I can learn to see the MUCH BIGGER picture. I can learn to see the Whole and the detail all at once. What I see depends on my current consciousness, my willingness to suspend beliefs and surrender. Am I willing to see what part of  'me' gives me the most trouble? 

Prayer:  Open my eyes to see with Your Eyes…Open my ears to hear with Your Ears.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Our Senses as They Relate to Our Personal and Spiritual Growth

Experiencing our five senses as they manifest through or in the Cycles of Truth has the effect of helping us to take fully advantage of this gift that is our life.  We learn to be fully present to life in the moment and to become more fully aligned with Creator’s purpose for our individual life.  We learn to use our senses as tools for connecting to higher frequencies of awareness.  We are able to have our senses become more acute and sensitive so that we can respond more proactively, rather than from fear or anxiety.  We become more able to use our senses to wake up to the world around us and to our own unique path. 

Highly developed senses, while they may require our attention and cannot be easily ignored, can bring a sense of ease to our lives once we come to trust them and to use them wisely.  The increased awareness with our senses also awakens our intuition, often called the sixth sense, 

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Knowing and Accepting Truth and Our Sense of Smell

I was first confused when I tried to understand the relationship between our olfactory sense and cycle of Know and Accept Truth.   As I sat in my morning contemplation, a visual image came to me like a video looping through my mind.  I first, saw one dog, running paces in a field.  It was then joined by two more dogs. They ran a systematic pattern across the field, sniffing intently one side to the next. I could see nothing out of the ordinary about the field, grass and prairie flowers, and a few trees at the edge. As I watched, I saw that the dogs kept going back to the same area and circling around.   Leaving and coming back again.

“Ah hah”, I thought.  We use our olfactory sense to sniff things out in our life. We have phrases we use that refer to finding out a truth, like ‘something smells fishy’.  Our sense of smell tells us if something is pleasing or repulsive.  It also influences how food tastes, even whether food has a taste at all.   The sense of smell is probably the second sense experienced by an infant after birth.  Indeed, most mammals and birds bond with their parent figures through their olfactory senses.  I began to understand how the deeper discriminating qualities of our olfactory sense can support us in our knowing and accepting of the Truth of our life.  

Friday, July 24, 2015

All I Really Need To Do Is Suspend My Limited Beliefs

Our next pause on the blue moon cycle path is the space of 'Know and Accept Truth'.  To know and accept truth requires mostly one thing: suspending our belief-about everything.   In our current place on the personal growth spectrum, our beliefs limit what is possible. As we continue to turn our face ever more to the light that is Truth, we can accept and be grateful that what we currently know as true is only a part, not the whole.

We contemplate these odd phrases (Learn Truth, Honor Truth, Know and Accept Truth, etc.). We come to understand them as invitations to different ways of relating to Truth--to Creator/Great Mystery/God.  We begin to experience something quite amazing in our being and our mind.  As we become willing to suspend what we think we know (our beliefs about most everything), we find they are replaced with a profound awareness of 'knowing'.  This sense of knowing seems to come from deep within as well as if from a Source far beyond our self.   This ‘knowing’ may feel quite uncomfortable as we become aware that with the acceptance of this new ‘knowing’ we will be changed in the way we live and manifest our life.  Even with the discomfort, holding gratitude for this larger Truth takes use step closer to Accepting Truth.

Thursday, July 23, 2015


To return home,
to walk as prodigal into our own life.
Will we feast on our fatted calf?
Or mete our own justice?

To know the light, we must learn darkness.
We value most, that which is nearly lost.

Treat yourself with kindness.
and upon turning back,
Welcome yourself with open arms.
Embrace the cycle.
Hug your Goddess.
Greet yourself,

perfect in your imperfection

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Why Quest for Truth

It seems All of great spiritual teachers, mystics and holy ones were/are seekers of Truth.  All of them!  Go and read your favorites, and you will find this longing and searching very soon in their writing.  This seeking  is likely to show itself in one of the forms we experience in the Cycles of Truth, which is only another way of searching and knowing.  

As I follow the path of my longing to understand and live my life purpose ever more truth-fully, I find teachings on Truth popping up all over, and with synchronicity. This one came this morning:

 "...Does truth work in our lives?...Truth Heals the body, purifies the soul, reforms the sinner, solves difficulties, pacifies strife. There is no such thing as undemonstrated understanding. If you wish to know where you really stand spiritually, look about you at your environment, beginning with the body.  There can be nothing in the soul that is not demonstrated sooner or later in the outer, and there is nothing in the outer that does not find some correspondence in the inner." (pg 201)       From Emmet Fox, July 20, (1886-1951) , a pioneer of the New Thought movement, continues to inform many present day wisdom teachers and spiritual searchers.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

The Secret of Increasing Our Ability to Hear Divine Inspiration: Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

You might have noticed the label in the upper right-hand oval of the waxing and waning moon pages 'Appreciation'.  It's there for a REALLY NECESSARY REASON.

I've been told by a number of spiritual teachers and coaches, and read in a lot of self help books how helpful it is to keep a gratitude list.  Even Oprah has gratitude months, and there was a lovely young women (whose name now escapes me) who had a website devoted totally to gratitude.  Keeping a gratitude list is supposed to make us happier and lessen our depression and negativity.   When  I have been diligent about writing a daily gratitude list, I definitely have felt better, happier , more joy-filled.'  But, that practice is can be a challenge to maintain, which is one reason why we keep it on the journal pages month after month.

Keeping awareness of our gratitude and appreciations raises our energetic frequency, and we become able  to experience more joy.  This ability to raise our frequency out of negativity and into joy, is to a key ingredient to having a conversation with Creator/Great Mystery/God.  A wise teacher shared with me that the vibrational frequency of gratitude is joy, and joy is the frequency through which Great Mystery speaks.  Only in that frequency can we hear the direction of Creator clearly.  We then, will not mistake this voice for that of our trickster ego!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

The Blue Moon Cycle and Learn Truth

The third day of the waxing moon.
Much of what we learn as Truth comes through our relationships with others and our experiences in the world.  Some of what we take in as Truth is false evidence appearing real.  This is the misunderstanding of the instinct of fear.  In the natural world, the instinct of fear is Creator's gift that tells all Creator's creatures to pay attention to what is coming.  That's it.  Just pay attention.  When we learn to pay attention to what is, then we can begin to discern with our all our physical senses, Truth from illusion.   Then we are able to also Learn Truth in our relationships and our experiences.  For this blue moon reflection what Truths have I learned; what untruths am I becoming aware of? 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Though Hidden as if in Shadow, We are Aways Whole

Through reflecting on the life we have lived so far, we go from hiding ourselves in the shadow, to coming to know we are already whole.  We have not allowed ourselves to see the Magnificent Wholeness of who we are.  We are manifestations of Creator/Creation.  We all have experience of the magnificence of nature; how can we not experience the magnificence of ourselves?

What is your most magnificent nature siting... the awe nature has shared with you? You are that magnificent, that awe-some.  We all are.  We can and will embrace this as Truth, by our willingness to travel fully in our humanness.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Waxing Moon: Our Vision is NOW; Not Some Time in the Distant Future

All the work and effort for this month will bring together these three 'parts' of ourselves: the person Great Mystery created us to be for this lifetime; the person we sense we are, in those brief, fleeting moments where we ARE fully present; and the person we dare dream we could be-if/when...

We are already who and what we were created to be.  Because our sense of self is not in alignment with our 'Divine Template' it only means that we must learn how to bring our vision back from the distance of 'someday' to the present moment.  

We already are the person we sense we are called to be.  We CAN and WILL learn to experience ourselves as this person! How?
We start by paying attention to the reaction of our senses in our daily lives.  We notice our preferences, likes, dislikes, prejudices, beliefs.  No judging, just notice.  No judging, just notice.

As we move through the days of becoming, filling and receiving which are represented by the waxing moon, we notice how our senses fill us, and with what.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

A Thought for the Closing the Cycle of Love Truth and Moving to the Blue Moon Cycle 'Be Truth' and Wholeness

Lisa and I spent the this past weekend at a workshop and ceremony with the son and daughter-in-law of Twylah Nitsch, who inspires the way I set my intention to live, as well as the work I do.  Lisa found this quote by Carl Jung on a sign post outside the center where the workshop was being held.  Wisdom teacher come from many places, and their teachings ring familiar truths.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Meeting the Relatives of Twylah Nitsch

Today (and tomorrow) I will spend my day(s) with the son and daughter-in-law of Twylah Nitsch. Twylah is the Seneca Elder who has informed and inspired my moon cycle work and my quest to know and live ever more fully in Truth.  I never met this generous and giving elder while she was still living in her human body, but I have felt her presence with me many times in spirit.  So, I feel blessed to spend time with her children. I will listen carefully to what they share and pass on what I am able.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Pondering April's Dark Moon

In the borders of a manuscript that had been transcribed by a Celtic monk, probably in the 15th or 16th century this phrase was found to be written in such tiny script it was only legible with the use of a magnifying glass: "May I know what has hurt me.  May I allow it to come closer. May it become one with me."  These words came to mind when I pondered my experience of the moon cycle of Looks Far Woman, Jamie Sams clan mother for April.  

I have looked into the unknown and I have seen what has hurt me and I have allowed it to come close to me.  I have prayed it become one with me.  I have asked and have been invited to see what is possible for me.  I have asked this to come closer to me.  I have felt the energy of ‘this’.  ‘This’ feels almost too much for me.  I allow it to come closer to me and, I hesitate here, I ask it to become one with me. 
I feel as though I may burst out of my skin, that my being is too big for my body. Perhaps I keep my body is to tightly held for my being?  I want to make this energy 'do certain things' instead of allowing this energy to have my body 'do certain things'—my human being-ness to do certain things, to be a certain way.
I can see how this moves into the writing of where Spirit and Body unite in me—I have the experience this morning as I write of how spirit and body are coming together.  My spirit is the energy that flows through me.  I understand how it has felt too much for my body.  Is this really true that my spirit, my energy is too much for ‘me’?  NO.  I have come to understand what is  ‘me’ is really my soul energy expressed in my life experience(s), which is the experience of body-being and spirit being, me and more than me!  Me and union with others, and with the Creator of All That Is, of Great Mystery.  

I am more whole.  Yes, I am more whole because I am more able to be all that I am.  I am no longer in the place of ‘what can I be?’, ‘what can I do?’, who am I?’.  Now the questions are ‘What do I do?’,’ How do I do?’, ‘Where do I do?’, ‘Am I willing to be, do?’.    Today I am more whole than yesterday and tomorrow I will be more whole than today.  I now know that experiencing loss and letting go are actually necessary for me to become more whole and more of who I am.  I feel comfort now, rather than fear and angst when I think of letting go.  Letting go no longer feels like a loss.  It feels like the only way my hands can become free to receive—to take what Creative Source/Great Mystery is offering to me.  

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Cave of the South: Innocence and Will

The second cave is the cave of the South.  Energy of youth and innocence in Jamie Sams' writing.  Also traditionally the energy of fire and action.

My mind (energy of the first cave) is frequently not my friend.  It is often a tool of the ego; the vehicle thorugh which my intentions and actions become distorted and redirected into protecting my small self, the part of me which sees itself separate from the Divine.

Like a child, I am distractable.
Like a child, I ignore and procrastinate in the hope that what is "not fun" will go away.
Like a child, I want dessert first.

From this direction, comes much of my self-sabotage; the distractability and small-willfulness of a child.  What do I need to use this energy to my healing and growth?

As Wisdom Keeper  says "in innocence and humility, there is a great power that transcends self-importance, which is the mask that humans use to hide their insecurities and their pain." (p. 62)

I am called to become In-Nocent:  Literally, not guilty.  To enter the state before sin, prior to my perceived separation from the Divine.  To be truly innocent would elminate the need to divert or protect.

I am called to become as a child and trust in God, the Universe and Everything to hold me, and to direct me (if I will only listen and obey).  I am called, repeatedly, to turn my will and my life over to the care of that which is beyond and within me.

I am called to embrace the innocence of youth.  To relax into what is and allow joy to bubble to the surface.  To delight in the small things.

To channel Exuberance in the service of the Divine incarnated in my Self.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Cave of the East: Bringing my Male Energy to Wholeness

The first cave of Wisdom Keeper's passage was the cave of the East, representing the male side of her being.  What is my wisdom from this energy?  What do I bring with me from my history?  What needs to be healed?

To desire Knowing
        As much as I desire the Breath of Life.
Enlightenment must be sought with humility
The first Knowing is of my own emptiness.
From that place only, can I embrace my fullness.

To heal (i.e. bring into wholeness) the male side of my energy and history, it must be given birth; passing through my womanliness, a part of my Motherhood.
My desire for seeking, clarity, knowledge and growth must be willing to be made small.
To become a slate washed clean, again and again,
So that upon it may be written Wisdom.
Echos of my ancestors
       Whispers of my pre-cestors.

They teach me how to be strong in a way that makes me a safe place for fledgling hearts to land.
I have misunderstood and misdirected that strength; a family heritage.
I have called to myself, similarly, anger and domination, mistaking it for refuge.
And I have passed it on, in DNA and learned behaviors.

I ask now, of Wisdom Keeper and all the Clan Mothers: Help me to bring to wholeness this energy
      to blend
      to use
      to create
As it was Intended to Be.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

New Moon: Wisdom Keeper 2015

My own takeaways from this month's recording and tonight's discussion on the night of the actual New Moon for Wisdom Keeprer's cycle:

Listening to the messages (truths) of my mind, emotions, soul, body and spirit in the Dark Moon earlier this week is a good segue into honoring the truths of All My Relations.  My messages call me into more balance.  I see the Universe moving to bring me into relationship with people and situations that can help to balance me.

In particular, this month, I am contemplating embarking on a possible long-term project/business.   It's pursuit would bring together many disparate areas of my life--honoring the truth of my varied experiences and the "hats" I have worn.  I also see where it can be a vehicle of healing ancestral imbalances.  I am honoring my fears, my strengths and the weaknesses that will require the blessing of working with other wonderful, talented people to bring my emerging vision into reality.

From the story of this month's Clan Mother, I was especially touched by the meaning and symbolism of the seven caves/seven directions.  I plan to use the waxing moon to contemplate the energy of each and honor the truths of that energy in my life and experiences.

The color for this month is gray.  A color of neutrality.  I journal each cycle in the color of that cycle (although crystal and white are a bit tough...).  I love color.  This year I don't have a gray pen, so have had to settle for black with a slight sparkle.  I laughed when I realized that even the color is a reminder for balance.  Frequently, when I start something new, especially if sparked by a "big idea", my level of enthusiasm causes me to burn out.  This month, as I journal in "gray" I will remind myself to honor the long road of experience that has led to being called into this next phase of my life, and to keep the balance among all those many aspects of myself and my history.