Monday, February 4, 2019

February's Waxing Moon Thoughts

I am thinking these days about what it would look like to walk around all day as a wise women.  Currently, being ‘wise’ feels more like an awareness that descends upon me, or into me, and I either have wisdom, or I don’t.  Fortunately-the “I don’t have it” times are usually relegated to something going on in me personally, rather than in my professional work—which is a VERY good thing! And, my personal struggles certainly bring understanding and compassion to my work as well.

When I am not in my center, I don’t seem able access to wisdom—or it is very difficult to do this.  It is during these times that I feel separate from the person I would like to be.  For example:  I have a vision of myself as a writer.  I do write.  I have stashes of notebooks filled with thoughts and ideas.  But, I have not manifested being a writer as part of my external identity.  There is something that happens inside me when I set a plan for my ‘writer self’ to be active.  I get tired.  I get distracted. I feel anxious. I feel disoriented.  I feel VERY resistant to the act of writing. All these are symptoms of being out of my 'center'.  During these times, I am not aware Wisdom is available to guide or inform me. It was only when I sat down to write about my flailing around and feeling like such a failure all day that I was able put anything down on paper.  I gave over to the feelings going on inside. I stopped trying to stop doing what I was doing. I sat down and wrote all the X!$&#! I was feeling . (Good for you I'm not sharing that part).  I was able to write that stuff- I stopped trying not to be what was going on inside me.  I acknowledged and accepted my feelings. It was at this moment I felt an awareness--actually, I felt a kindness come in to my body, I think that this is Wisdom coming in.  

I feel I have learned a bit more about Wisdom: She is a companion and she is ready to inform my life. Remembering the advice from January's clan mother-listening with the heart, catching enough stillness to allow what is, is enough for Wisdom to enter. The waxing moon as she grows to fullness reminds me I have this capacity, too.

Sunday, February 3, 2019

New Moon for February 2019

What does it mean to ‘Honor Truth’
I honor what ‘IS’ as I experience it.
It is a birthing to a new way of being 
               That I honor.
This requires letting go of the old.
 No rushing is allowed!
I am asked to accept 'what is' and to know it better.
I am just asked to experience ‘it’ as ‘it’ is.
I am asked to honor the truth of the histories...
                Of myself, of my family, my culture, and the whole of the world.
I am asked to taste what has been laid out before me;
                An abundant banquet of history, experiences, memories
                And of all the new things flowing forth 
                From Creator's Womb!