February's Waxing Moon Thoughts

I am thinking these days about what it would look like to walk around all day as a wise women.  Currently, being ‘wise’ feels more like an awareness that descends upon me, or into me, and I either have wisdom, or I don’t.  Fortunately-the “I don’t have it” times are usually relegated to something going on in me personally, rather than in my professional work—which is a VERY good thing! And, my personal struggles certainly bring understanding and compassion to my work as well.

When I am not in my center, I don’t seem able access to wisdom—or it is very difficult to do this.  It is during these times that I feel separate from the person I would like to be.  For example:  I have a vision of myself as a writer.  I do write.  I have stashes of notebooks filled with thoughts and ideas.  But, I have not manifested being a writer as part of my external identity.  There is something that happens inside me when I set a plan for my ‘writer self’ to be active.  I get tired.  I get distracted. I feel anxious. I feel disoriented.  I feel VERY resistant to the act of writing. All these are symptoms of being out of my 'center'.  During these times, I am not aware Wisdom is available to guide or inform me. It was only when I sat down to write about my flailing around and feeling like such a failure all day that I was able put anything down on paper.  I gave over to the feelings going on inside. I stopped trying to stop doing what I was doing. I sat down and wrote all the X!$&#! I was feeling . (Good for you I'm not sharing that part).  I was able to write that stuff- I stopped trying not to be what was going on inside me.  I acknowledged and accepted my feelings. It was at this moment I felt an awareness--actually, I felt a kindness come in to my body, I think that this is Wisdom coming in.  

I feel I have learned a bit more about Wisdom: She is a companion and she is ready to inform my life. Remembering the advice from January's clan mother-listening with the heart, catching enough stillness to allow what is, is enough for Wisdom to enter. The waxing moon as she grows to fullness reminds me I have this capacity, too.

New Moon for February 2019

What does it mean to ‘Honor Truth’

I honor what ‘IS’ as I experience it.
It is a birthing to a new way of being 
               That I honor.
This requires letting go of the old.
 No rushing is allowed!

I am asked to accept 'what is' and to know it better.

I am just asked to experience ‘it’ as ‘it’ is.

I am asked to honor the truth of the histories...

                Of myself, of my family, my culture, and the whole of the world.

I am asked to taste what has been laid out before me;

                An abundant banquet of history, experiences, memories
                And of all the new things flowing forth 
                From Creator's Womb!

               

Honor Truth's Closing Moon GIfts

We are in the closing of the February Moon and the Cycle for Honor Truth.  The moon has flowed and ebbed, like the tides over which she rules.  Ebbing now toward the next cycle she leaves behind in the sand of each of our lives precious pieces of who we are today, fragments of where we have come from, and little shells, which if we hold up to our ears and listen, offering hints of where our life journey can take us in our future.  

What does the final ebbing of the closing moon reveal to you?  Take time to sit with these jewels left behind.  The sand is the journal pages upon which you write.  The jewels are the words on the page.  Honor Truth writes through us onto these pages.  Take time be with the wisdom you have, hold, are becoming.  Sit in contemplation of what has been given and received during this cycle, preparing you for the gift of Know and Accept Truth and March’s first Moon of spring and new life.

Self Reflection:  I read the wisdom written through my own hands; receive it without judgment. I honor my truth. This is how I Honor Truth.

Nearing the End of February's Waning Moon

The February Moon Review for the Full Moon turned out to be exactly what my waning moon experience has been for this month! My suggestion was to RE-member (put together again)and to use ‘re-member-ing’ to piece together parts of our life, examining our attempts to preserve our version of our history. These past two weeks have literally offered me an experience of seeing a broader and deeper truth surrounding my childhood memories and perceptions. I am seeing and feeling myself in ways that I had blinded myself to.

Brief summary of what's going on: At the beginning of this moon cycle I began working with a Jungian Analyst Diplomat, exploring my personal history via my dreams and the memories which rise-up from the exploration of these dreams. The result has been a somewhat alarming awareness of how distorted and protective my perceptions of my childhood have been.  This experience reminds me that it IS REALLY important to have a supportive witness as we endeavor to see our lives more truthfully and with wisdom.  We must be gentle and non-blaming with ourselves as we come to know the fullness of our personal truths- necessary if we are to become our wisest selves. 

When the thoughts for the full moon and closing moon inspiration came to me while writing the MoonCircleJournal prompts for February', I had no idea the writing would, several years later, as I write in the published journal, quite literally be speaking to me!  My two weeks have been quite full, as well unsettling--yet, all is fundamentally good. I am also blessed to have a good support system. I am held in a beloved sisterhood, broad, wide, deep. And so are you, dear reader, if you choose to Honor your Truth and receive the wisdom kept here for you.

Self Reflection: I do not hesitate to reach out for support, for what I need, for what I want to share, and to receive and share a bit of sisterhood support.

Honoring the Truth in Both Emptiness and Fullness of The Void

I feel I have been listening in the wilderness of my Soul these last two cycles.  These quotes came through a daily affirmation service I receive and reinforced my centering and sinking into the Silence:

There is emptiness as well as fullness to life. Today I will embrace them both. I will see the emptiness as a spiritual void that is actually full in a completely different sort of way: A God-shaped hole. When I allow myself to embrace my own inner emptiness rather than run from it, a paradox happens. What was unknown becomes known, what was frightening becomes tolerable and what was empty becomes full. The void I feel inside of me is really a spiritual wilderness. When I enter it barren trees flower and bear fruit. It is alive and vibrating. It soothes and sustains me and I feel tingly inside. (Tian Dayton)

The void is that which stands right in the middle of 'this' and 'that'. The void is all-inclusive, having no opposite - there is nothing which it excludes or opposes. It is living void, because all forms come out of it and whosoever realizes the void is filled with life and power and the love of all things. (Bruce Lee)

Self Reflection: I embrace my own inner emptiness; here I can know what is unknown and tolerate what once was frightening; empty become full. 

Honor the 'Good' of our Truth

I have been thinking of Karen's lovely poem. Her invitation and experience of taking in small morsels, fearful of the new, and then with encouragement and courage, fuller bites of what is good and wondrous reminded me of Marian Williamson's quote about our greatesty fears.

I believe it is true and that in our striving to honor Truth we more often dishonor what is great with in us and elevate false personality defects as what is true for us.  Marianne gives us a gentle, yet stern reminder:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Self Reflection: Do I deny or acknowledge the greatness of the woman Creator would have me be?

Honor Truth Reminds us 'All Is Fundamentaly Well'

We have been sitting with Truth this month, receiving her wisdom as her Truth is revealed to us-- in our past, our present moment, and a vision of our future.  However distorted, foggy, clear or poignant this Truth might be, we are committed to receive our current perception of Truth. 

We do so with humility,  And with humility we allow what we receive to be transformed. We learn from what we perceive. We walk in the shoes or scan of the 'other', whether that other is a person, an animal, our environment. Moving through life with this kind of receiving is a very active process. We are called to practice, moment to moment, awareness-actively; consciously receiving and honoring what comes our way. 

Remember this kind of active receiving doesn't mean we like what is revealed, doesn't mean we want it, doesn't mean we believe it. It allows us to have ever greater awareness of what it is being revealed. in this moment, in this week, in the whole of our life. 

This active awareness can sometimes be overwhelming, When this overwhelm occurs, these words bring comfort and Truth: "I am not the One in charge.  At this moment, I am not asked to do anything. In the moments I am totally safe, all is as it needs to be, just for this moment." Sometimes the only truth we can honor is that in the moment we are reading this, all is fundamentally well.

Self Reflection: I am not the One in charge.  At this moment, I am not asked to do anything. In the moments I am totally safe, all is as it needs to be, just for this moment. All is fundamentally well.

Taste and Know

A Sharing from Karin:

Taste and Know

You feed me a piece of Truth, but I can't stomach it. 

As a single bite, I don’t get it!

Embittered, I avoid You

Whilst searching my heart and history.

Moon waxing, relationship strained, I relent:

“A whole portion, please.”

And this time I Listen,

Chew on it, let it digest.

She comes into her Fullness, brilliant in the Heavens!

And suddenly, I see mySelf reflected in your words.

Schemata rearranged, outdated ideas updated,

A new slice of Truth illuminated.

How do I come to Know mySelf?

It is through relationship--

To You, Her, Him,

To All in Heaven and Earth.

When I Inquire and Listen,

Taste and Swallow,

Body and Soul metabolize together,

ONE history recognizes ALL histories.

Under her diminishing light, I sit in grateful wonder.

You offer another morsel.

Self Reflection:  Am I willing to taste...and know?

Prayer for Release

Creator, please remove and release me from my old ways of taking life in:
My clinging to the echos of my past,
My knee-jerk reactions,
My preconceived ideas, thoughts and prejudices
About EVERYTHING. (this includes: ideas, people, places, things, myself, and You).
Thank You for listening. Thank You for hearing me.
A million, million times, Thank You.
I am grateful.
Amen

Self Reflection:  Am I willing to have what no longer serves my life removed?

Echos of Our Past Are left in the Footprints of Each New Step

On the pages of February's Waning Moon, we are reminded, "In each new step, are the echos of all that has come before."  We may be inclined to think of these echos in terms of the life we were born into: our inherited wealth or poverty, the color of our skin, our religious foundation, our culture, and of course, the wounds and  entitlements that come with each of these. But there is so much more. The incredible and immense wisdom which has flowed through each generation before us is also a part of this echo. Wisdom, sometimes received as grace, sometimes hard-earned, is the gift, task, offering we receive as our birthright. We are asked to bring this Wisdom forward through the way we live our lives. We must learn to trust Truth can, and does, flow through us if we are open and willing.  We begin to live through faith in this wisdom, rather than the fears of our perceptions.

Self Reflection: How do the echos of my past inform my steps?

Conscious of It or Not, We Live With Our Past

Our past lives with us.  Long before 'us', our stories began. The wounding of an ancestor last generation, 7 generations ago, 70 generations ago, sets the stage for beliefs, actions, prejudices and roadblocks in our own life.  A 'happenstance' encounter with nature influences our DNA and we and our offspring for future generations is forever altered.
When we become aware of a something in our life where we feel wounded, impaired or troubled, and are not able to come to peace or resolution with it, despite our best efforts, a "healing with the ancestors" may offer what is needed-healing the past, bringing hope and wisdom to our present and the future.*

* Carolyn's comment: "Healing With the Ancestors"  is a guided imagery process which alters both conscious and unconscious patterns of energy and beliefs for the person requesting support. Those who have engaged in this healing ceremony have, afterward, seen healing changes in the lives of other family members as well.  If you would like more information on this process, just email me: carolyn@drfaivre.com and I'll be happy to share more information.


Self Reflection:  Am I aware of the lineage of my story?

How Fear Inhibits and Invites Truth

Carolyn Shares:  Lisa's mandala and her reflective share speak deeply to me about the courage and steadfastness required to Honor what is True.  I have come to recognize my tendency to retreat into vagueness when I don't want to recognize a 'truth'.  At times, my fear around taking in what is the truth is so strong my being resorts to becoming physically, emotionally or spiritually 'ill'.  Fear of Truth also has resulted in my numbing out through over indulgence-in substances such as food and drink, emotional binges, lethargy... Fear of Truth--fear of what might be true.  I recognize so many times where my behavior and attitudes have been geared toward keeping Truth at bay.
I am grateful for the Truth Cycles, gently inviting relationship between me and Truth.  Each month with the ebb and flow of the moon cycle, supported by the unique energy of the new, waxing and waning days of each cycle, I have a chance to gently invite myself to ever deeper relationship with Truth.  In doing so, I find I am developing a deeper relationship with my self as well.  I have more awareness of and about myself. I make choices about my behavior that I think I would not have had the awareness to make, even six months ago.  The gentle, ongoing encouragement toward Truth has become a resting place for me.  I am grateful.  I will keep receiving and honoring Truth the best I am currently able. Despite my fears, maybe even because of my fears, I will stay on this path.
Tonight, I sleep well under the care of the waning February moon.

Self Reflection: In these days of chaos and turmoil, where do I find my courage and steadfastness to Honor what is Truth?  Sitting in community I will find kindred support.

What Honor Truth Asks; A Prayer of the Full Moon

Honor Truth asks of us a change of heart: receiving and taking in what shows up in our life-- past, present and what is yet to come. What do we do with each moment of awareness, especially when it is distasteful, out of our comfort zone, raises anger? How can we change what rises up in us?
The answer first is awareness.  Accept what your awareness is; this is coming out of vagueness and denial, and ask Creator of All That Is for aid.  You will feel your awareness shift with this act of humility and openness.  Over time, your heart will change, for others and for yourself.  This kind of self-awareness is the beginning of a healed state of Self-love.

Self Reflection:
Creator, guide me through my day; help me

Laugh deeply,

Love heartily,

Manifest abundantly,

Receive unconditionally,

Heal profoundly.
Live fully.