February's Waxing Moon Thoughts

I am thinking these days about what it would look like to walk around all day as a wise women.  Currently, being ‘wise’ feels more like an awareness that descends upon me, or into me, and I either have wisdom, or I don’t.  Fortunately-the “I don’t have it” times are usually relegated to something going on in me personally, rather than in my professional work—which is a VERY good thing! And, my personal struggles certainly bring understanding and compassion to my work as well.

When I am not in my center, I don’t seem able access to wisdom—or it is very difficult to do this.  It is during these times that I feel separate from the person I would like to be.  For example:  I have a vision of myself as a writer.  I do write.  I have stashes of notebooks filled with thoughts and ideas.  But, I have not manifested being a writer as part of my external identity.  There is something that happens inside me when I set a plan for my ‘writer self’ to be active.  I get tired.  I get distracted. I feel anxious. I feel disoriented.  I feel VERY resistant to the act of writing. All these are symptoms of being out of my 'center'.  During these times, I am not aware Wisdom is available to guide or inform me. It was only when I sat down to write about my flailing around and feeling like such a failure all day that I was able put anything down on paper.  I gave over to the feelings going on inside. I stopped trying to stop doing what I was doing. I sat down and wrote all the X!$&#! I was feeling . (Good for you I'm not sharing that part).  I was able to write that stuff- I stopped trying not to be what was going on inside me.  I acknowledged and accepted my feelings. It was at this moment I felt an awareness--actually, I felt a kindness come in to my body, I think that this is Wisdom coming in.  

I feel I have learned a bit more about Wisdom: She is a companion and she is ready to inform my life. Remembering the advice from January's clan mother-listening with the heart, catching enough stillness to allow what is, is enough for Wisdom to enter. The waxing moon as she grows to fullness reminds me I have this capacity, too.

Strengthening and Aligning Our Internal Flame, Part 5: Building a spiritual muscle memory

Sara writes:

Sometimes, our environment or situation can be incredibly challenging or draining.  When I am in the midst of such negative energy, I often become uncentered. Afterward, I recall the spiritual person I think I am during my morning contemplative time and wonder where she went!

Today, I am reminded that the challenging times are the reason a spiritual practice is exactly that; a practice.  During my contemplative time, I practice sensing and aligning with the pull of the Universe/Creator.  I become centered.  Frequently, I set reminders for myself throughout the day to do a mini-check-in with that same centering.  In this way, I build a kind of spiritual "muscle memory".

The more dedicated I am to this practice, the more likely I will remember to (and be able to) open to the Grace and Guidance needed.  Responding from a perspective that allows a positive outcome becomes more automatic.  When I neglect my practice, I become spiritually "out of shape" and revert to old, negative attitudes and reactions.

The words in the daily circles in the journal are practices of gratitude, opening to guidance, intention, and noticing alignment working in our life.  As Carolyn mentioned in yesterday's post, there is great value in just the practice, even when (or especially when) we aren't feeling particularly "spiritual"

Self Reflection:  How does my spiritual practice nourish and support me?

February's Waning Moon Gifts to the Closing Moon.

Carolyn shares: She seems so far away tonight.  Smaller even then most crescent moons, yet intensely bright.  Minute rays radiate brilliance.  I just stood and looked at her in this very silent Winters night, until my feet got cold, and I felt a cold-toes nudge to go inside. Such peace I felt.  Such hope.  And even better:  a surge of excitement to keep going on my path. My Path. 

My Path…the work I do on myself, with myself, for my own growth, healing, happiness, and sense of being...If I do this for myself, honoring my process of growing, I am also doing it for all creatures--and them for me. For we are all connected--because we are all unique.  If we weren't unique, we could not be connected, we would all just be the same. No differentiation.  No boundaries. No unique and personal growth.

These words are my waning moon gift from Wisdom Keeper, looking down from her archetypal home.  I feel blessed for my life, and for the women here in this small and powerful circle, who just by our presence, encourage each other to keep going--for all of us.  

Self Reflection: I will keep going, for myself, for all my relations. I will also receive in reciprocation. 

More Pathways to Learning Truth

It is no mistake, no happenstance, that we Learn Truth only through touching and being touched by the whole of the world.  Not only the physical touch, whether from another human or our pet or the wind and sun on our face, but the energetic touch of a look or action of another, or being touched by the beauty or the horror of an event or place.  Activating our felt sense invites us to put our focus outside of ourselves. We tend to be a very self-centered species.  We mistake self-centeredness for self-centering and this leads us to mistaken views of the world, ourselves...and Truth. If we are self-centered, our attempts at contemplative prayer or meditation (forms of self-centering) can feel futile. Amazingly, connecting to the world around us is a path to self-centering, as we must go outside ourselves to connect.  When we go outside of ourselves we then can center ourselves from a different perspective. We are much closer to connecting to our own deep soul, and Truth.

Self-Reflection: Do I know the difference between self-centeredness and self-centering?