A Thought for the Closing the Cycle of Love Truth and Moving to the Blue Moon Cycle 'Be Truth' and Wholeness

Lisa and I spent the this past weekend at a workshop and ceremony with the son and daughter-in-law of Twylah Nitsch, who inspires the way I set my intention to live, as well as the work I do.  Lisa found this quote by Carl Jung on a sign post outside the center where the workshop was being held.  Wisdom teacher come from many places, and their teachings ring familiar truths.

Meeting the Relatives of Twylah Nitsch

Today (and tomorrow) I will spend my day(s) with the son and daughter-in-law of Twylah Nitsch. Twylah is the Seneca Elder who has informed and inspired my moon cycle work and my quest to know and live ever more fully in Truth.  I never met this generous and giving elder while she was still living in her human body, but I have felt her presence with me many times in spirit.  So, I feel blessed to spend time with her children. I will listen carefully to what they share and pass on what I am able.

Pondering April's Dark Moon

In the borders of a manuscript that had been transcribed by a Celtic monk, probably in the 15th or 16th century this phrase was found to be written in such tiny script it was only legible with the use of a magnifying glass: "May I know what has hurt me.  May I allow it to come closer. May it become one with me."  These words came to mind when I pondered my experience of the moon cycle of Looks Far Woman, Jamie Sams clan mother for April.  

I have looked into the unknown and I have seen what has hurt me and I have allowed it to come close to me.  I have prayed it become one with me.  I have asked and have been invited to see what is possible for me.  I have asked this to come closer to me.  I have felt the energy of ‘this’.  ‘This’ feels almost too much for me.  I allow it to come closer to me and, I hesitate here, I ask it to become one with me. 

I feel as though I may burst out of my skin, that my being is too big for my body. Perhaps I keep my body is to tightly held for my being?  I want to make this energy 'do certain things' instead of allowing this energy to have my body 'do certain things'—my human being-ness to do certain things, to be a certain way.

I can see how this moves into the writing of where Spirit and Body unite in me—I have the experience this morning as I write of how spirit and body are coming together.  My spirit is the energy that flows through me.  I understand how it has felt too much for my body.  Is this really true that my spirit, my energy is too much for ‘me’?  NO.  I have come to understand what is  ‘me’ is really my soul energy expressed in my life experience(s), which is the experience of body-being and spirit being, me and more than me!  Me and union with others, and with the Creator of All That Is, of Great Mystery.  

I am more whole.  Yes, I am more whole because I am more able to be all that I am.  I am no longer in the place of ‘what can I be?’, ‘what can I do?’, who am I?’.  Now the questions are ‘What do I do?’,’ How do I do?’, ‘Where do I do?’, ‘Am I willing to be, do?’.    Today I am more whole than yesterday and tomorrow I will be more whole than today.  I now know that experiencing loss and letting go are actually necessary for me to become more whole and more of who I am.  I feel comfort now, rather than fear and angst when I think of letting go.  Letting go no longer feels like a loss.  It feels like the only way my hands can become free to receive—to take what Creative Source/Great Mystery is offering to me.  

Cave of the South: Innocence and Will

The second cave is the cave of the South.  Energy of youth and innocence in Jamie Sams' writing.  Also traditionally the energy of fire and action.

My mind (energy of the first cave) is frequently not my friend.  It is often a tool of the ego; the vehicle thorugh which my intentions and actions become distorted and redirected into protecting my small self, the part of me which sees itself separate from the Divine.

Like a child, I am distractable.
Like a child, I ignore and procrastinate in the hope that what is "not fun" will go away.
Like a child, I want dessert first.

From this direction, comes much of my self-sabotage; the distractability and small-willfulness of a child.  What do I need to use this energy to my healing and growth?

As Wisdom Keeper  says "in innocence and humility, there is a great power that transcends self-importance, which is the mask that humans use to hide their insecurities and their pain." (p. 62)

I am called to become In-Nocent:  Literally, not guilty.  To enter the state before sin, prior to my perceived separation from the Divine.  To be truly innocent would elminate the need to divert or protect.

I am called to become as a child and trust in God, the Universe and Everything to hold me, and to direct me (if I will only listen and obey).  I am called, repeatedly, to turn my will and my life over to the care of that which is beyond and within me.

I am called to embrace the innocence of youth.  To relax into what is and allow joy to bubble to the surface.  To delight in the small things.

To channel Exuberance in the service of the Divine incarnated in my Self.

Cave of the East: Bringing my Male Energy to Wholeness

The first cave of Wisdom Keeper's passage was the cave of the East, representing the male side of her being.  What is my wisdom from this energy?  What do I bring with me from my history?  What needs to be healed?

To desire Knowing
        As much as I desire the Breath of Life.
Enlightenment must be sought with humility
The first Knowing is of my own emptiness.
From that place only, can I embrace my fullness.

To heal (i.e. bring into wholeness) the male side of my energy and history, it must be given birth; passing through my womanliness, a part of my Motherhood.
My desire for seeking, clarity, knowledge and growth must be willing to be made small.
To become a slate washed clean, again and again,
So that upon it may be written Wisdom.
Echos of my ancestors
       Whispers of my pre-cestors.

They teach me how to be strong in a way that makes me a safe place for fledgling hearts to land.
I have misunderstood and misdirected that strength; a family heritage.
I have called to myself, similarly, anger and domination, mistaking it for refuge.
And I have passed it on, in DNA and learned behaviors.

I ask now, of Wisdom Keeper and all the Clan Mothers: Help me to bring to wholeness this energy
      to blend
      to use
      to create
As it was Intended to Be.

Namaste

New Moon: Wisdom Keeper 2015

My own takeaways from this month's recording and tonight's discussion on the night of the actual New Moon for Wisdom Keeprer's cycle:

Listening to the messages (truths) of my mind, emotions, soul, body and spirit in the Dark Moon earlier this week is a good segue into honoring the truths of All My Relations.  My messages call me into more balance.  I see the Universe moving to bring me into relationship with people and situations that can help to balance me.

In particular, this month, I am contemplating embarking on a possible long-term project/business.   It's pursuit would bring together many disparate areas of my life--honoring the truth of my varied experiences and the "hats" I have worn.  I also see where it can be a vehicle of healing ancestral imbalances.  I am honoring my fears, my strengths and the weaknesses that will require the blessing of working with other wonderful, talented people to bring my emerging vision into reality.

From the story of this month's Clan Mother, I was especially touched by the meaning and symbolism of the seven caves/seven directions.  I plan to use the waxing moon to contemplate the energy of each and honor the truths of that energy in my life and experiences.

The color for this month is gray.  A color of neutrality.  I journal each cycle in the color of that cycle (although crystal and white are a bit tough...).  I love color.  This year I don't have a gray pen, so have had to settle for black with a slight sparkle.  I laughed when I realized that even the color is a reminder for balance.  Frequently, when I start something new, especially if sparked by a "big idea", my level of enthusiasm causes me to burn out.  This month, as I journal in "gray" I will remind myself to honor the long road of experience that has led to being called into this next phase of my life, and to keep the balance among all those many aspects of myself and my history.

Weaving Unattached

Reposted from my public blog: http://cowgirlzen.com/weaving-unattached/ 

Today is the full moon, a lunar eclipse, the Blood Moon.  We are inspired  this moon by "Weaves the Web", the prototypical mother of creative and destructive forces.  Spider medicine is strong in this season and moon cycle.

Weaves the Web and grandmother spider speak to me of manifesting the divine in my daily life.  Increasingly, my heart's desire is to simply be a daily, living expression of the Universal Love that I can sometimes touch in my meditations.  Today's lesson to me is about the importance of creating and then letting go of those creations.

Why, if I weave with the conscious intent of channeling the divine, should I not hold tightly, as sacred, to what I create?

Because I am human.

Because I am human, I am an imperfect lens through which the light of Creation shines.  My weavings are inevitably distortions of the indescribable beauty I feel inside.  To become enamored of them is to attach to the distortion.  To love without attachment is to honor the creative force embodied within them.  To let go is to acknowledge the abundance from which they sprang and from which sufficiently more will arise to take their place.

Spider shows me that much of this world can interfere with my weaving;  Substances, such as drugs and even caffeine, cause  orb spiders to create distorted and dysfunctional webs.   My addictions, lack of self-care, ego, and character defects distort what I intend to manifest in the world.  Several species of poisonous spiders, such as the brown recluse and black widow, weave "disorganized webs", as if the poison that is their survival mechanism is reflected in their self-created environment.

A spider's web is not only sticky, but electrically charged, making it an effective filter for whatever is in it's environment.  From that I learn I must be aware of the environment in which I choose to weave.  What am I attracting to my web?  What am I bringing to myself?

Spider teaches me that destruction and renewal are essential for continued evolution.  Some spiders, such as orb-weavers, construct a new web each day, systematically destroying and eating the old one.  Not discarded or dismissed, but integrated into the next cycle.  As I grow toward wholeness, my creations become purer and more clearly a reflection of what is at the core of my being.  I must be willing to create, destroy and re-create if I am to answer my heart's call.