Responding to What Beckons Us, Traveling in 'Blind Faith'

In our journey toward full humanity, we are willing to travel a path to deeper and fuller knowledge of our divine humanness. We come to see our purpose---and we also become able and willing to be holders of sacred/safe space for others taking this same journey toward embodying their full self.

It does not matter where you are in the process of your human journey —just that you remain willing to look far enough to see the eternal flame of love beckoning you.
We are beckoned in our dreams.
We are beckoned in our longings.
We are beckoned in our visions.

We say 'yes' to what beckons us.
Sometimes it feels we move with blind faith.
As we travel this path of becoming ourselves, we will (eventually) awaken to the awareness
our path leads us deep into the core of our own essence*.
We will recognize we have and are a light of the eternal flame of love.
This is what seeing Truth will reveal when our eyes become willing to see the eternal flame of love
in all of creation.

*This is the 'door in the crack of the universe' of the Story of Looks Far Woman in Jamie Sam's The 13 Original Clan Mothers. (pgs 89-94)

Self Reflection:  I say, "Yes!" to what beckons me forward, 'blind faith' transforms to knowing, love and vision. I learn to move with ease. 

If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment

The transition from Wisdom Keeper to Looks Far Woman has me thinking about the relatinship between wisdom and vision.  I never understood before this cycle why the sequence is what it is.  This year, I have been shown that vision without wisdom, for me at least, mainly a source of obsession and worry.

I am copying below a portion of a post from my cowgirlzen.com blog from my first time through the cycle.  I entered the circle at Looks Far Woman.  Here's what she had to say to me:

If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment

In my morning meditation/visualization I started beneath a tree, covered in tiny new spring-green leaves and began a slow walk down a path of 13 large flagstone steps. At each stone, a ghost-whisper of one of the 13 Clan Mothers joined me. At the fourth step, Looks Far Woman came and took my hand, walking with me the rest of the way. The steps led through lush grass, sloping gently down to water’s edge and curving to end at a hidden cut in the bank. There, in a horseshoe shaped alcove, lined above by rocks, sat a well-worn stone bench. There I sat with Looks Far Woman.

I asked her to be my guide this month; to call me back when I lost my sight or to hold my hand and keep me on the path of my desire to stay connected with the All and to let go of critical thoughts and judgments.

“It is not for me to call you back or to hold you, but I will be here when you remember where you need to be”

I asked for help in seeing my connection to all things and in feeling that connection, especially in times of stress. I had a vision of a vast web, stretching across the horizon of earth and into space. My perspective was from edge of the web, but I knew that I was also part of its center.

“You cannot yet see your connectedness unless you are still. As you learn to be and feel your own center, your awareness of your place in the web will travel with you. But for now, be still”

I asked for particular help with my tendency to be critical and to blame others when things were not perfect, or when I am feeling less than perfect myself. I asked for wisdom to see that all things have their place and things are as they should be.

“If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment”

Pondering April's Dark Moon

In the borders of a manuscript that had been transcribed by a Celtic monk, probably in the 15th or 16th century this phrase was found to be written in such tiny script it was only legible with the use of a magnifying glass: "May I know what has hurt me.  May I allow it to come closer. May it become one with me."  These words came to mind when I pondered my experience of the moon cycle of Looks Far Woman, Jamie Sams clan mother for April.  

I have looked into the unknown and I have seen what has hurt me and I have allowed it to come close to me.  I have prayed it become one with me.  I have asked and have been invited to see what is possible for me.  I have asked this to come closer to me.  I have felt the energy of ‘this’.  ‘This’ feels almost too much for me.  I allow it to come closer to me and, I hesitate here, I ask it to become one with me. 

I feel as though I may burst out of my skin, that my being is too big for my body. Perhaps I keep my body is to tightly held for my being?  I want to make this energy 'do certain things' instead of allowing this energy to have my body 'do certain things'—my human being-ness to do certain things, to be a certain way.

I can see how this moves into the writing of where Spirit and Body unite in me—I have the experience this morning as I write of how spirit and body are coming together.  My spirit is the energy that flows through me.  I understand how it has felt too much for my body.  Is this really true that my spirit, my energy is too much for ‘me’?  NO.  I have come to understand what is  ‘me’ is really my soul energy expressed in my life experience(s), which is the experience of body-being and spirit being, me and more than me!  Me and union with others, and with the Creator of All That Is, of Great Mystery.  

I am more whole.  Yes, I am more whole because I am more able to be all that I am.  I am no longer in the place of ‘what can I be?’, ‘what can I do?’, who am I?’.  Now the questions are ‘What do I do?’,’ How do I do?’, ‘Where do I do?’, ‘Am I willing to be, do?’.    Today I am more whole than yesterday and tomorrow I will be more whole than today.  I now know that experiencing loss and letting go are actually necessary for me to become more whole and more of who I am.  I feel comfort now, rather than fear and angst when I think of letting go.  Letting go no longer feels like a loss.  It feels like the only way my hands can become free to receive—to take what Creative Source/Great Mystery is offering to me.  

Being Near-Sighted is a Necessary Precursor to Feeing Far.

I am feeling the teachings of Looks Far Woman already. I want to share a short post on some observations I had about myself following s short bout of the flu.  At least I named it as the flu.  Only after I had an internal argument with myself as to whether I was isolating, depressed, exhausted without reason, trying to get out of doing work, or paying the price for not taking my thyroid vitamins for a week. All of these possibilities brought up feelings of shame.  But when a couple of the unmentionable symptoms exhibited themselves, I gave over to the diagnosis of flu, and let myself be sick and take the day off (not without guilt).  What I saw when I looked carefully at my thoughts, feelings and experience, is that I don't have a ability to discern when I am getting sick or sick, from other feelings I think I might have, but shouldn't have.  I'm not going to go into my historical detail here-let's just say this is a long-standing pattern in my life, from childhood on.  I'm grateful that I have a therapist to take this awareness to-and to get some help in working it out and healing this unhealthy part of myself.  I do see on reflecting in these more hidden and shadowed parts of myself the cost it has been to my physical and emotional health to not be able to discern what my body is going through and what it needs--add to that the effects of shame on all levels of being.  So, my intention for these nest days is to look closely at these patterns-gently and lovingly of that part of myself, but firmly in that I am grounded in my intention and do not wish to shrink away from or hide these awareness back in the dark (not sure I could).  This close-up examination and exploration I do think will bring healing and insight and far-sight.  Love to you all.  Carolyn