Shame and Gratitude Meet on the New Moon of Share Truth

Sara’s honesty in sharing her experience of shame around her personal gifts and accomplishments reflects how a willingness to be visible creates an environment for others to experience their lives more fully.  This kind of sharing with others has the effect of dissolving shame and making space for new growth--for ourselves and for those with whom we share.  In Sharing Our Truth we invite others to do the same.  A new community of trust and camaraderie with others begins to form.  This is the deeper calling of this moon cycle, Share Truth. As this cycle moves toward completion, the emerging  moon cycle brings the gifts of gratitude, strengthening our commitment to Share Truth. 

Shame lives in our shadows

              and feeds our fears.

Shame encourages hiding.

Shame keeps us from living fully,

              from sharing the truth of our gifts, talents, accomplishments.

Gratitude is the antidote for shame.

Gratitude nourishes our gifts,

              grows our talents.

Gratitude is a catalyst of encouragement,

for showing up as our real self.

Self Reflection: My time of daily reflection and contemplation makes a space where my gratitude and shame can meet.  This time creates a sacred space where my gratitude can shine light on my shame. Shame crumbles and loses its' power. In this time of sacred, quiet self-reflection, I experience gratitude for my abilities and accomplishments. I find courage to share my life fully in the world. For that, too, I am grateful.

Noticing Choice

It is important to acknowledge both the light and the shadow in how we live our daily lives.  Our truth is played out in the 10,000 choices we make each day.  When we notice and give ourselves credit for the times we choose alignment with our higher self, we have less need to hide from the shadow self.

Sara's personal share: While I easily acknowledge my gifts and abilities, I find they are often a source of shame:  I feel shame for not living up to my potential, not being as "good" as I "should" be, given how I have been blessed.  My "review/release" circle is filled with choices I made that "could have" been more in alignment with my Truth.  Today, I am reminded that I also need to balance my review with acknowledging the choices I make every day that ARE in alignment.

Self Reflection: Do I carry shame about my gifts, abilities, accomplishments?  If so, how has this affected my ability to align myself in truth? to Share my Truth?

Waning Moon for Walk and Work Truth: Grandmother Spider, Clan Mother Weaves the Web

A partial posting from Sara's public blog cowgirlzen.com :

Because I am human, I am an imperfect lens through which the light of Creation shines.  My weavings are inevitably distortions of the indescribable beauty I feel inside.  To become enamored of them is to attach to the distortion.  To love without attachment is to honor the creative force embodied within them.  To let go is to acknowledge the abundance from which they sprang and from which sufficiently more will arise to take their place.

Spider shows me that much of this world can interfere with my weaving;  Substances, such as drugs and even caffeine, cause  orb spiders to create distorted and dysfunctional webs.   My addictions, lack of self-care, ego, and character defects distort what I intend to manifest in the world.  Several species of poisonous spiders, such as the brown recluse and black widow, weave "disorganized webs", as if the poison that is their survival mechanism is reflected in their self-created environment.

A spider's web is not only sticky, but electrically charged, making it an effective filter for whatever is in it's environment.  From that I learn I must be aware of the environment in which I choose to weave.  What am I attracting to my web?  What am I bringing to myself?

Spider teaches me that destruction and renewal are essential for continued evolution.  Some spiders, such as orb-weavers, construct a new web each day, systematically destroying and eating the old one.  Not discarded or dismissed, but integrated into the next cycle.  As I grow toward wholeness, my creations become purer and more clearly a reflection of what is at the core of my being.  I must be willing to create, destroy and re-create if I am to answer my heart's call.

Self Reflection: Where in my life do I need to destroy old patterns that I might create new ones?  Am I willing to do what is needed to answer my hearts call?  If not, am I willing to seek guidance and support so I can learn to express the beauty of what waits to be woven inside me? 

Full Moon for Walk and Work Truth; Grandmother Spider, Clan Mother Weaves the Web

A partial posting from Sara's public blog cowgirlzen.com :

We are inspired  this moon by "Weaves the Web", the prototypical mother of creative and destructive forces.  Spider medicine is strong in this season and moon cycle.

Weaves the Web and grandmother spider speak to me of manifesting the divine in my daily life.  Increasingly, my heart's desire is to simply be a daily, living expression of the Universal Love that I can sometimes touch in my meditations.  Today's lesson to me is about the importance of creating and then letting go of those creations.

Why, if I weave with the conscious intent of channeling the divine, should I not hold tightly, as sacred, to what I create?

Because I am human.

Because I am human, I am an imperfect lens through which the light of Creation shines.  My weavings are inevitably distortions of the indescribable beauty I feel inside.  To become enamored of them is to attach to the distortion.  To love without attachment is to honor the creative force embodied within them.  To let go is to acknowledge the abundance from which they sprang and from which sufficiently more will arise to take their place.

Self reflection:  How can I manifest 'divine intention' in my daily life?  Where could I practice letting go of 'my way' during the waning weeks of this moon cycle?

A dust-speck spider weaves perfect imperfection: October New Moon; Walk/Work Truth

Spider weaves

Is she Creator of her own web?

Or does Creator come through her?

I weave my web

Inspired strands,

Spun in the colors of my heart

Imperfect Truths

Here for the moment

They speak to me

(and perhaps to another?)

Tomorrow,

my Truth will be different

And I will weave a new web

Different, yet still Truth

For I am a dust-speck spider

Weaving in the vastness of the Universe

Infinite and infinitesimal

Channeling that which cannot be contained!

Self reflection: On this New Moon, how is Universe inspiring me to weave my life? 

Saying "YES!" to Life

Saying "yes" to life is the outcome of inner peace.
We get there through listening for guidance, consciously creating balance in our inner and outer lives and trusting in the outcome.
Saying "yes" to life is an earthly experience of heaven.

Sara writes:
As a young girl I often experienced what I now realize is an incredible gift of Grace:  Many, many mornings, I would wake up in a state of rapturous anticipation.  I had a natural ability to joyously welcome the experiences the day would bring.  I think now that the secret to that joy was that I 
looked forward not to some specific outcome or event, but just to LIFE happening.  Back then, I knew in the depths of my soul, that life was good.

Today, I am only rarely blessed with awareness that I stand before life's buffet table; abundance laid out before me in ways I cannot imagine, and which I did not create.  My spiritual practice directs me back to this state of welcoming acceptance.

 Self Reflection: May I live in a state of "YES!", welcoming the depth, breadth and variety of what life will bring me today.

Serving Truth by Living Truth

Sara writes: AS I transitioned from the cycle of Serve Truth to that of Live Truth, this is my awareness:

To be one small part of humanity's evolution toward spiritual unity and wholeness will be my life's greatest accomplishment.  I am called to share, to serve.  I am willing, even eager, to let go of my ego in order to more fully and clearly incarnate my divine spark into the world.

In this cycle just passed, I have faced fears and self-imposed blocks surrounding embracing the calling I am feeling so strongly.  I am becoming more open to following that lead, without knowing (or controlling) the shape of my destiny.  I feel deeply how all that has come before has positioned me for where I am now.

Full of this feeling of immense destiny, I write my prayer to the Universe.  What comes from my pen is the Truth of Setting Sun Woman: "May I walk in awareness that it is by my daily living, as much (or more) as by great works that I fulfill my destiny and play my part".

Self Reflection: What is my 'one small part' of humanity's evolution toward unity and wholeness?

Serving Truth Requires Balance

Sara writes: To Serve Truth, I must have balance.  I cannot sustainably fulfill my calling if I do not feed all the necessary parts of my life and my self.  My list of cyclically neglected parts includes; body care (nutrition, exercise, sleep, medical), relaxation, fun, creative work, time with loved ones, meeting my commitments, financial stewardship and nurturing my business.

To have balance, I must have both awareness and discipline.  I must make conscious choices.  I must be honest with myself about the consequences of those choices.  Then, I must stay on track and follow through with my choices.  A couple years ago, it came to me that "Discipline is integrity in working clothes "Discipline is integrity in working clothes".   I am gradually learning that when I have a choice between 'doing what feels good' and 'doing what makes me feel good about myself', the latter is almost always the choice that is in alignment with my Purpose.

Self Reflection:  Do I feel the difference between 'doing what feels good' and 'doing what makes me feel good about myself'?

Strengthening and Aligning Our Internal Flame, Part 5: Building a spiritual muscle memory

Sara writes:

Sometimes, our environment or situation can be incredibly challenging or draining.  When I am in the midst of such negative energy, I often become uncentered. Afterward, I recall the spiritual person I think I am during my morning contemplative time and wonder where she went!

Today, I am reminded that the challenging times are the reason a spiritual practice is exactly that; a practice.  During my contemplative time, I practice sensing and aligning with the pull of the Universe/Creator.  I become centered.  Frequently, I set reminders for myself throughout the day to do a mini-check-in with that same centering.  In this way, I build a kind of spiritual "muscle memory".

The more dedicated I am to this practice, the more likely I will remember to (and be able to) open to the Grace and Guidance needed.  Responding from a perspective that allows a positive outcome becomes more automatic.  When I neglect my practice, I become spiritually "out of shape" and revert to old, negative attitudes and reactions.

The words in the daily circles in the journal are practices of gratitude, opening to guidance, intention, and noticing alignment working in our life.  As Carolyn mentioned in yesterday's post, there is great value in just the practice, even when (or especially when) we aren't feeling particularly "spiritual"

Self Reflection:  How does my spiritual practice nourish and support me?

Strengthening and Aligning Our Internal Flame, Part 2

From Sara’s waxing moon inspiration: “To be born again is to accept the gifts of life consciously and with humility.”

To serve implies a commitment followed closely by action!  Every time I consciously commit to accepting and living/expressing/making visible/using the gifts I have, I am born again, and again and again.  New birthing of myself happens over and over.  Every time I take action, I become an updated version of ME (My Essence), closer and closer, more and more in alignment with Creator’s Vision of me. 

Humility is the vessel which has the capacity to hold the magnificence of Creator’s vision for our unique expression of life.  Doubt and mistrust limit our humility, and constrict the space available in our life to birth our vision.  

Self Reflection:  I consciously accept my gifts. I commit to live an ongoing updated version of my possibility!

Closing Moon Prayer for Loving Truth

Sara's prayere for the Closing Moon of Love Truth
B E
C O M E
L O V E
B E C O M E
BECOME LOVE

May I walk in the Grace of Now. May I walk in the Grace of Being.  Loving What Is, exactly as it is. In expectancy of whatever will be, but never in anticipation.

May I let go of the future and the past, of controlling either.  Just as I have no control over what already Is.
For then, I will have Peace

Self Reflection:  I feel how I walk in the grace of the moment. I am aware of how I love what is. It helps me stay in expectation and not anticipation.

We All, Eventually, Return Home to Ourselves

29 days on a journey committed to loving what is Truth will reveal parts of our character that have previously been hidden in shadow.  As we embrace these parts of our selves, such
harmful behaviors, errant beliefs, or judgments (of self and others), it is common to experience feelings of shame.
Love Truth invites us to compassionate forgiveness of ourselves for all the foibles of our life journey so far.  we are the prodigal goddess of Sara's poem.  The parent we are returning to is ourselves, the woman we are becoming; the woman Love Truth has invited us to see as Truth.  We are returning to a mansion where a life rich with possibility, creativity, growth and abundant love is waiting to be experienced.

Wait no longer to Love all the Truths of your journey thus far. Embrace the imperfections of your life as a human being. This conscious act starts the healing, just as in Jamie Sams' story of Loves All Things.

Sewlf Reflection:  Have I allowed ALL of me to return to rest in my own being, in my heart?

A Prodigal Goddess Prepares to Serve Truth

To return home,

to walk as prodigal into our own life.

Will we feast on our fatted calf?

Or mete our own justice?

To know the light, we must learn darkness.

We value most, that which is nearly lost.

Treat yourself with kindness.

Turn

and upon turning back,

Welcome yourself with open arms.

Embrace the cycle.

Hug your Goddess.

Greet yourself,

perfect in your imperfection

Originally posted by Sara on cowgirlzen.com

Self Reflection:  My imperfection is my path of learning my perfection as a child of Creator.

The Mockingbird's Song: A Full Moon Parable About Listening to Your Soul

                Just before dawn, I heard cardinal song outside my window.  The clear trill was coming from the trees surrounding the pool.  I pictured the red bird in the rain-wet trees, on this unusually cool Texas May morning.  But the bird appearing in my mind’s eye was not a cardinal.  It was my familiar friend, the mockingbird.

                My scientist’s brain went into testing and verification mode:  Indeed, we have many more mockingbirds than cardinals in the poolside landscape.  There is one particularly vocal fellow who frequents the tree outside my bedroom window.  And as I listened, I heard other types of bird songs coming from the same apparent spot.   I concluded: Indeed, it must have been a mockingbird.

                I couldn’t help but wonder how I knew, before thinking it out, that the song I heard was an imitation of the real cardinal’s song.  I bet if I heard a recording of the two, I could not discern a difference.  Even real birds are sometimes fooled by the mockingbird’s song.  Yet, intuition gave me a clear knowing.  The same knowing took my mind a while to reach.

                The voice that directs my actions and decisions is a lot like this morning’s bird songs. 

                My ego, my small self, is a mockingbird.  It sings songs that help me to establish and defend my “territory” (who I think I am).  But in Reality, those songs are only reflections, projections and imitations.  They serve a temporary purpose, but do not reveal who I am at my core, nor help me fulfill my real mission in life.   When I listen to the voice of my small self, at best, I am listening to an echo of the Truth.  That voice may even direct me toward actions that are helpful and generous.  But in the end, such actions frequently leave me feeling empty, exhausted or used.

                Through the Grace of intuition, or through the conscious humility of setting aside my own small-self-will, I can hear the voice of my larger Self.  This Self lives in communion with all of creation, and maintains a connection to the eternal force I often think of as God.  Actions taken at the urging of this voice have a different energy than those directed by the small self.  This is true even when the actions are externally indistinguishable from those fueled by the ego.  Coming from a place of infinite connection and love, I am energized, not depleted.  Even when I inevitably fail to perform perfectly, these actions create good.

                The mockingbird sang to me an important message today.  My mind, my knowledge, can lead me down some false roads.  By opening to intuition and by practicing listening to my soul, I will be directed in the Right direction.  I will move toward wholeness.

Self Reflection:  On this full moon I take time to listen to my soul.

Listening is Love

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." David Augsberger

Listening is a gift that is always available to be given.
Listen beyond your small self, deeper than your impressions and judgments.
Suspend yourself and listen wholly.
Listen to the soul-speak of the other.
Listen with your body, your whole perception.
Indeed, make love with your awareness.

Just being heard in this way is healing, and is often the only help someone wants from us. In listening deeply we are also gifted. For when we listen fully to another, we are also most able to hear the voice of our deepest wisdom from within ourselves.

Self Reflection: What is my experience when I consciously listen to others?

Standing Before the Crack of Creation

Naked,
I stand before the crack of Creation
Bathed in light beyond reckoning;
     Golden glow, warm and embracing
          Purest white, brilliant and piercing
My soul is laid bare.

Here I meet my faults, my shadows
The secrets I don't dare whisper
     even to myself
Here is revealed my glory and my calling
      A secret even deeper than the first

If I but step through, I will be cleansed.
Why, then, do I hesitate?
Not for fear that I am unworthy,
But for fear that I am.
         Sara Faivre-Davis, 2016

Self Reflection: Read Sara's poem, allowing it to speak for you.  How do you resonate with her challenge and promise?

If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment

The transition from Wisdom Keeper to Looks Far Woman has me thinking about the relatinship between wisdom and vision.  I never understood before this cycle why the sequence is what it is.  This year, I have been shown that vision without wisdom, for me at least, mainly a source of obsession and worry.

I am copying below a portion of a post from my cowgirlzen.com blog from my first time through the cycle.  I entered the circle at Looks Far Woman.  Here's what she had to say to me:

If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment

In my morning meditation/visualization I started beneath a tree, covered in tiny new spring-green leaves and began a slow walk down a path of 13 large flagstone steps. At each stone, a ghost-whisper of one of the 13 Clan Mothers joined me. At the fourth step, Looks Far Woman came and took my hand, walking with me the rest of the way. The steps led through lush grass, sloping gently down to water’s edge and curving to end at a hidden cut in the bank. There, in a horseshoe shaped alcove, lined above by rocks, sat a well-worn stone bench. There I sat with Looks Far Woman.

I asked her to be my guide this month; to call me back when I lost my sight or to hold my hand and keep me on the path of my desire to stay connected with the All and to let go of critical thoughts and judgments.

“It is not for me to call you back or to hold you, but I will be here when you remember where you need to be”

I asked for help in seeing my connection to all things and in feeling that connection, especially in times of stress. I had a vision of a vast web, stretching across the horizon of earth and into space. My perspective was from edge of the web, but I knew that I was also part of its center.

“You cannot yet see your connectedness unless you are still. As you learn to be and feel your own center, your awareness of your place in the web will travel with you. But for now, be still”

I asked for particular help with my tendency to be critical and to blame others when things were not perfect, or when I am feeling less than perfect myself. I asked for wisdom to see that all things have their place and things are as they should be.

“If you would have wisdom, you must first give up judgment”

Interfering with Alignment

How we see things creates our reality.  When we don't see clearly, we often miss the assistance that is there to help us on our journey along the Good Red Road.

How often do my own projections and preconceptions prevent me from noticing how the Universe aligns to assist me? How often do they cause me to miss the good in a person or situation?  How often do these same blinds spots change the course of events such that alignment cannot manifest in my life?

My projections become my reality.  What I see in my blindness blocks alignment and changes what IS.

Self Reflection: I take time to notice how I see all aspects of my life.  I am open to seeing in a new way. I am open to seeing Truth as reality. What does this mean?

Awareness and Change

Awareness is the beginning of change. Just being aware begins the process of change. We must have awareness before we can know and accept.

Be aware of your choices and accept the consequences of those choices. From this place of full and honest knowing, action will flow when you are ready; when it is what you truly desire.

Sometimes, we need to sit with the knowing a while, before we are ready, before we truly desire. Have compassion for yourself in this time. As long as you stay in awareness, the change is incubating. Alignment and right action will eventually follow.

Self Reflection: Am I aware of my awareness?

Teaching Prayer

Teach me gently, Great Spirit
Help me to be open to whispers,
     gentle guidance
         and soft focus
Open my heart,
Illuminate my mind

Let me not put up such barriers to knowing
     That my lessons need be hard
           or loud
                or big
Make me a page upon which to be written with golden ink
And not a stone tablet writ with chisels

Self Reflection: Am I willing to be taught gently, to be open to the soft whispers which I hear when my heart is open?