Carolyn writes:
I'm writing about myself today, in first person, not assuming others experience life as I do. When I am irritable and frustrated by the limitations I see in myself, my personal world, or other people's actions, I find my intentions and my integrity can fall to the way-side. To continue with the metaphor of the 'wick in the lamp' (see Part 1), it is as if my wick is separated from the fuel source, or has become so fouled it can no longer maintain a flame.
I'm writing about myself today, in first person, not assuming others experience life as I do. When I am irritable and frustrated by the limitations I see in myself, my personal world, or other people's actions, I find my intentions and my integrity can fall to the way-side. To continue with the metaphor of the 'wick in the lamp' (see Part 1), it is as if my wick is separated from the fuel source, or has become so fouled it can no longer maintain a flame.
There are also times when I am so angry or upset that I consciously shut off any experience of Grace and Divine support. I 'yank my wick out of my lamp'! And, I usually shut out human support as well, which, in my metaphor, is the 'fouled-up-wick' part.
Yet, tbecause I have a commitment to daily contemplation, even when I am pissed off, through the grace of this daily practice, I sit my bottom down on my prayer cushion. I make an attempt to name some things I am grateful for. Sometimes, I can only say I am grateful for the gift of discipline to sit when I don't want to. Sometimes I'm not even able to do that. I set my timer for five minutes, and I sit. This commitment to sit, even when I don't want to, is a movement toward alignment. It is a profound, disciplined act of loving myself.
Self Reflection: Where am I disciplined in loving myself? Where would I like more discipline?
Self Reflection: Where am I disciplined in loving myself? Where would I like more discipline?
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