Feeling Alone and Forgetting Truth

Carolyn shares: I wake up very early. The cloud cover has shut out every bit of light from the moon and the stars. All the holiday lights are off in the neighborhood. I'm in the midst of that in-between everything time when I feel totally alone, disconnected from everything and everyone; even from the source of creation. It is a terrible anxiety, moments of total desperation, loss, panic, confusion. I recognize how often these feeling pass through me.--I wonder if I have tapped into an ancient feeling in the core of human beings in those moments, hours, days, maybe even weeks, when they felt alone. How often I forget I am connected to ALL.  I can't ever really escape this connection, but I am always forgetting it. THAT is probably the main reason I stay connected to the mooncyclecircle--so I  forget less and know my connection more. Then, I am able to be a place for others to know and remember their connection as well.  

When I forget, I close myself up in seeming self-protection, and these feelings can not pass through.  Instead, they must take up residence in  my body ('my own personal, 'oh shit, here I go again' response), my mind (which brings up all the bad stories from my memory), my emotions (I feel them in the racing of my heart) and my spirit (which I think feels desperate in my disconnection). They are trapped there until I open up again, which happens ONLY through my willingness to remember I am always connected, even when I forget I am.

Self-Reflection:  Am I willing to open up enough to let the difficult, scary panic,anxiety and fear pass through?  

The Meaning of Speak Truth in My Life

In the waxing moon phase of this cycle we explored the inquiry, "What is the meaning of Speak Truth?"
Then, at Full Moon, we let the fullness of her light shine on what will not serve us in our desire to speak truth, as well as what truths we are now called to embody by our presence, actions and words.
Now, in the waning phase of the cycle we are asked, "What is the meaning of Speak Truth for My Life?"  Speaking truth becomes very personal; the directions I receive for speaking truth may be different than how you are directed to speak truth. Your truth is not less truth than my truth. My truth not less truth than yours. There are many points of view and many stories, sharing many elements of one whole true story.  We each have a unique role to share. The common thread in these unique experiences and expressions of  truth for each person is the Truth shared by the Great Mystery.

Self Reflection: How different would my stories be, if I spoke them only from a place of connection to the Great Mystery?

From Seeming Opposites, We See the Truth of Our Connection

In our conscious choice to See Truth, we see the contradictions between what we believe to be true and our actual experience of truth we now encounter.  It is our quest for truth, and our willingness to see(k) Truth, that brings us this gift of clarity.  Our conflicts and challenges become doorways leading us to compassion, and to become who we are born to be.
We begin to see and know the bigger Truth of our wondrous Self (and truly, we are created wondrous).

We consciously act as the Self we are now discovering.
We begin to be visible in the world, to those around us.
One of the results of stepping more fully and truthfully into our lives is that, we become more visible to others, and people see us differently than they have before.
[Carolyn's personal comment: Since I have begun working with the Truth Cycles and consciously trying to apply them in my daily life, it is not unusual for someone I have not seen for a while to comment that I seem somehow different to them, changed. I take this as a good thing!]

But more important than how we are seen, is that we begin to see others differently. We have more compassion, and a broader and deeper understanding of what we see in the world around us. We are able to humbly acknowledge the limits of our ability to know others' truth.  We are able to allow them more space for their journey and in doing so, we have more space for our own.

Self Reflection: As I stay on my path and continue to see(k) truth, I change, others change, confirming we are all connected.

Learning Truth Does Impact One's View of Self and Others

Carolyn Shares: Holding fast to my commitment to communicate with an intention to Learn Truth  has brought to light how much 'fear' influences my behavior, my reactions, my choices.  My desire and longing to have Truth direct my life makes it possible for me to have a Voice that is stronger than the voice of 'fear'.  What is this voice? For me Truth is a name for the expression of 'Great Mystery', 'God', 'The Divine One', 'Creator', 'Great Spirit', in me, in all of creation.  Working with these cycles of Truth for the past years has brought the gift of ongoing, though not quite yet, continual contact with this Divine Force.  The teachings of Truth from all the great spiritual traditions tell us that Truth is another name for 'God', another name for Love.
I feel it changing me and changing my way of being with others.  I can be softer, more receiving, more honoring; even if we don't see Truth in the same way.  Progress...

Self-Reflection:  How do I feel when I don't hold the same truths as others?

More Pathways to Learning Truth

It is no mistake, no happenstance, that we Learn Truth only through touching and being touched by the whole of the world.  Not only the physical touch, whether from another human or our pet or the wind and sun on our face, but the energetic touch of a look or action of another, or being touched by the beauty or the horror of an event or place.  Activating our felt sense invites us to put our focus outside of ourselves. We tend to be a very self-centered species.  We mistake self-centeredness for self-centering and this leads us to mistaken views of the world, ourselves...and Truth. If we are self-centered, our attempts at contemplative prayer or meditation (forms of self-centering) can feel futile. Amazingly, connecting to the world around us is a path to self-centering, as we must go outside ourselves to connect.  When we go outside of ourselves we then can center ourselves from a different perspective. We are much closer to connecting to our own deep soul, and Truth.

Self-Reflection: Do I know the difference between self-centeredness and self-centering?

We All Share the Circle of Connection and Relationship

Carolyn shares:  I'm writing this post just after saying "good night" to a group of women who joined me on this night of the summer solstice and the June full moon. This joining of solstice and full moon hasn't happened for 50 years.  It made the news and was an 'excuse' for a lot of partying.  On our end, These 8 women came all with different connections and from different places. We came to hold ceremony, to share about our current life-both the joys and the challenges, and to bear witness to each woman's request for the next step in her journey.  It didn't matter that some of us didn't know others, or that we came from different circles.  Neither did it matter that we all seemed to have different spiritual traditions. Songs were sung from different ancestries, even in different languages. In this small group, in a few short hours, new truths were spoken and old stories released to grandmother moon.  We committed to flourish and nourish others with the abundance of who we are, just as the solstice celebrations invites and reminds us all to do.
Hundreds, maybe thousands of women are gathering together for ceremony on this evening, and we are all connected. You, reading this post, are connected, too.  I am full of gratitude...and tired. It's near midnight, and way past my bedtime.