Carolyn shares: There are so many times when it would be easier to not speak a truth.
It's easy to keep silent when someone else is blamed for something I did. I remember the time my grandson was yelled at by his father for moving the dog's water bowl. The little guy began to cry. I would have liked to slink into a corner myself and be quiet about my deed, not wanting the wrath of my stepson, who likes things orderly, have one more thing I did that was aggravated him. But I acknowledge my deed.
It's easy to tell a different story when we forget, are absent minded and we have inconvenienced or disappointed another person. There was the time I spaced on my agreement to have breakfast with a friend. I didn't forget. It was on my calendar, but when I checked, I couldn't connect the name to any event. When my friend finally called, I really didn't want her to know why I was not there. I thought about not picking up the phone. But I answered and spoke the truth of my error.
How about going for a medical check-up and are asked to fill out the 'patient information form'. The part where they ask how much alcohol or coffee is consumed and how often. I have fudged on that one. I never want to admit I smoked in college, so I have left that off, too. Not telling the truth about these things harmed me, no one else.
I have a lot of stories like this. I imagine most readers do. My first couple vignettes may make me look somewhat saintly in my misspoken words, but I am hardly so! There are many times I did not speak my truth, and the lie or silence was perceived as the truth for a long time. Some of my brushes with keeping a lie as the face of truth were much worse, had bigger consequences than others. I won't tell those stories here! Since I have been on this path of Truth, I have spoken up about most of them to the people they need spoken to. In doing so I have suffered the loss of some relationships. Thankfully, most of the time, my amends were received with appreciation for my willingness to set things right.
I would like to be impeccable with my words. It's a process, I am definitely not perfect. Yet, I have committed to living the Cycles of Truth as part of my path. Now, I notice times when I am going to say something and the words stick in my throat. Often when I check myself, I'm getting some 'guidance' on speaking truth.
Self Reflection: Not Speaking Truth harms me the most. What are the areas of my life where I am inclined to hedge my truth?
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