Watching for How We Block Ourselves From Becoming Our VIsion

Carolyn shares:  This morning I woke up and immediately bumped into the 'me' I dread most. I recognize this 'me' quite readily these days.  When I wake up to my alarm and start a conversation about whether or not I should sleep longer, that tells me right away the dreaded 'me' is tussling to take charge.  Three snooze buttons later I got up, came downstairs and immediately picked up the latest copy of a magazine called 'Live Happy'.  I did not feel 'happy'.  Instead, what I saw was all the authors-leader, mentors, actresses, counselors sharing their work in this lovely magazine, doing what I felt I wasn't or couldn't do.  This was an open door for negation and shut-down of the 'me' that would be visible in my vision. Just when I was starting to feel my next step into Love and Truth about to happen, I get a flash mob of all my old stuff (a flash mob all dressed in black, by the way) which blocks out the Truths which are already a part of me.  My vision for my Vision is blocked. This feels terrible to me in all ways: in my body, my thinking, how I feel, and in my connection to my spirit.  In the past, this could take me down for days, weeks, months, often using physical illness as the final blow to 'becoming Me'.

It is so easy to let this sentinel who blares her neon sign-"That's not you!" be the truth-speaker. But...She's not.  My best defense against giving her charge of my life is in the daily work I do to keep my chord of connection plugged into Creative Source, Great Mystery Great Spirit, or G.O.D. (Good ,Orderly Direction).  This is certainly what walking and resting in the path of the Moon Cycle work helps me do.

Self Reflection:  I am present to myself during these busy days of the waning moon. I AM able to discern the blessed Truth of my Self and the Truth of the emerging vision for me life.

Come toward the Close of the Waning Moon with Love and Grace

We have been given four weeks of time for rest and reflection.

In this year, what are the themes this cycle of reflection has revealed to me?

Acknowledging and honoring this/these theme(s), I notice my response, my reaction.

Have I been loving to myself? Indulgent? Judgmental?  Shaming? Encouraging? Inspiring? 

Self Reflection: How have I loved myself?  How shall I love myself better?

The Winter Solstice; the Time for Thanking Truth

On this shortest day of the year, we celebrate the longest night.  We are symbolically offered a longer span of darkness to sit with our dreams for what we might be, could be, will be as we consciously commit to being more completely our Self!

Have a wondrous and inspired solstice!  Light a fire or candles to celebrate the gift of darkness, to remember of the gift of light that is eternally within your being, to offer gratitude for the balance of life-the gift of rhythms and cycles.

Self Reflection: I thank Truth for my light, which becomes visible to me in being with my own dark times.

Holy Time, Whole Me TIme

This is a post from a year ago on the Circle of Self Muse Blog  It is even more relevant, more true, more important to have these holy times--the Whole Me times as I intentionally spend these last few days in the Thank Truth cycle reviewing what I have come to know of my life.

My early mornings are Holy Time.

Actually, all time is Holy Time,

And I am so distracted

 I don’t recognize the holy minutes and holy seconds

as they flow in and out of me.

But if I practice experiencing my early mornings as Holy Time,

Perhaps it will seep more and more into my days as a WHOLE.

And perhaps my nights will become incubation for Holy Time,

So my dreams will carry more and more a holy message for my life.

And then perhaps my life will have enough holiness

My breath can be a holy mist out to the lives of others.

My early mornings are Holy Time.

Self Reflection: Take time during these last few days of the cycle of Thank Truth to hold sacred and abundant gratitude for your Self and your self.

Who We have Been and Who We Are Becoming

By taking time to reflect on our gratitude, and on how the life we have lived so far interfaces with the vision WE have for our life,  we come out of from hiding ourselves from ourselves and the world. We come to know we are already whole. Perhaps we just need to take off the shell that covers our wholeness.  We have not allowed ourselves to see the Magnificent Wholeness of who we are. 

We are manifestations of Creator/Creation.  We all have experienced the magnificence of nature; we too embody that kind of magnificence in our own being. Now we sit in wonder of the magnificence of ourselves-whether we feel we are currently expressing our self in the world, or whether still in the becoming place. What a place of gratitude this is!

Self Reflection: Think about your most awe inspiring experience in nature. YOU are that magnificent, that awe-some as well. We all are.  We can and will embrace this as Truth, by our willingness to travel fully in our humanness. These days approaching the new year are times to allow the Vision of your being to visualize.  Express your gratitude, then YOU prepare to be manifest in the world.

How Truth Reveals Our Lives

 "...Does truth work in our lives?...Truth Heals the body, purifies the soul, reforms the sinner, solves difficulties, pacifies strife. There is no such thing as undemonstrated understanding. If you wish to know where you really stand spiritually, look about you at your environment, beginning with the body.  "There can be nothing in the soul that is not demonstrated sooner or later in the outer, and there is nothing in the outer that does not find some correspondence in the inner." (pg 201)       From Emmet Fox, July 20, (1886-1951), a pioneer of the New Thought movement, continues to inform many wisdom teachers and spiritual searchers.  Around the Year With Emmet Fox,

It seems all great spiritual teachers, mystics and holy ones were/are seekers of Truth. All of them! When we seek the vision for our life, Truth is likely to show up in one of the many forms we experience working with the moon cycles, which is just one path for searching and knowing Truth.  

Self Reflections: When I intentionally follow the path of my unfolding vision, I am living my life purpose as best as I currently know it, with the Truth I currently know. I can trust teachings on Truth to pop up synchronicitically in my life. This synchronicity is confirmation of my connection to Creation

Can It Really Be True?

Can it possibly be true that already within us is everything we need to know? How different our lives would be if we acted as if we believed this to be Truth.  Yet is is Truth.  Across the long  timeline of Spiritual Teachers, this message is given repeatedly. The difficulty comes in that there are many layers or levels of 'knowing' within our being.  We can be aware of many things that are 'true' about ourselves, yet 'true' only under certain conditions.  As we dig deeper into our consciousness, we find that what is true in one experience is not true in another experience.  Or what is true in one relationship is not true in another. Just because something is true, does not mean it carries the wisdom of Truth.

Self Reflection: As I begin to discern the difference between what is 'true' and what is 'Truth' in terms of becoming my vision I take all that I have held as true and examine it with a desire to know what is true for me NOW. If I find myself in a negative reaction or feelingintreanched in my self-examination, iit is likely I have come across something 'not true'.  I can acknowledge what has been revealed and set it aside.  If I find a compassion in my reflections, it is likely to be a Truth.  With gratitude, I place these knowings in my heart, and carry-on toward becoming my vision.

Flipping the Coin of Forgiveness and Gratitude

In practicing gratitude for our experiences in life, we come upon times where we experience hurt, anger, frustration, dissolution, pain.  Can we even think about being grateful during these times?  The gift in this cycle is 'Thank Truth' .  We look for the Truth, open ourselves to what is Truth, (with an uppercase 'T') when we are confronted with the challenges of living life. 


Self Reflection: Forgiveness and gratitude are two sides of the same coin.
If this coin comes into my possession, I have received a gift more priceless than gold. It is a gift which brings me a freedom greater than I have ever known!

The Amazing Gift of Gratitude for 'What Is"

The gift of  'Thank Truth' is a gift supporting us to start each day anew with the willingness to begin again, and again, and again. Gratitude allows us to miraculously be present to life in an amazing, powerful way.  It truly is a gift to be able to see beauty in the everyday and the mundane.  It truly is a gift to know hope and possibility in the midst of chaos.  It truly is a gift to be able experience change as it is happening in our feelings and actions.  Gratitude = a path of living in the present/in Presence.

Self-Reflection: Today I begin again. Today I will live in the present of each moment. Beginning again and in the present I experience Presence. I live Gratitude

A Practice of Gratitude Changes Consciousness

As we move through these weeks of the waning moon our focus of gratitude turns outward as we explore our perception of others and the world around us. It is easy to express gratitude toward others when we are getting what we think we want, or when things are going our way.  This is only a tiny part of the gift of Thanking Truth.  We receive the gift of greater consciousness when we can be grateful for the whole of the Truth, which may be very different from our original perceptions and beliefs--as was noted in yesterday's post,

What DOES it mean to look for the Truth in every situation and experience, especially those that are challenging in some way? We can start with a question teacher and writer Byron Katie  asks, "Is it really true?"  Through deeper exploration we often find the Truth is different than our personal perception and experience.  We come to understand how important our life experiences have been/are for the growth and healing of our being.  This space of expanded understanding of what is reality is the place where we truly and deeply feel gratitude for the Truth.

Self Reflection: Check out Byron Katie's guided questions here in her process called: The Work. Choose one current belief which is challenging you and explore "Is it really true?"

How Can I Trust I Am Actually Sharing My Truth?

When we can begin to appreciate ourselves, we begin automatically to accept help and support and gifts from outside sources, including others--the beginning of the end of self-reliance.
Self appreciation is not the same thing as self-aggrandizing, conceit or self-absorption.  In fact, these characteristics are the opposite of true self-appreciation.

In appreciating our self, we are accepting all of who we are, warts as well as loveliness.  This appreciation is a kind of change of view point that allows us to accept our self so much more fully than when we judge ourselves.

Appreciating our self is a necessary first step of humility.  It is also a defense against humiliation. We begin to see and experience the value of our self in the world.

Where are all these words leading?  It is going to take us to a way of being where we are able, without trepidation or fear, to share our being in the world, trusting the truth that it will be the best we are able in the moment we are giving it.  Self-acceptance of our imperfections, and of those moments where we also experience perfection.

Self Reflection: How do I appreciate myself? Am I willing to accept help, support, gifts from others? Am I still hanging on to self-reliance? If so, what fears lie beneath this veneer of self-will?

Rhythms and Cycles as Guides to Caring for Self and Others

Jamie Sams tells the story of Walks Tall Woman, her conceptualization of the archetypal embodiment of the November moon cycle.  As a storyteller, Sams uses mountain lion, the totem animal of leadership, to bring the cautionary message to Walks Tall Woman concerning the right use of her gifts, and the importance of taking time to rest and replenish.

When we are in our role as leaders, we must take time to replenish ourselves with the energy of creator--with quiet reflection and regenerative sleep.  When we don't, we draw on the life force of those we would help and we invite imbalance and disharmony into their lives and ours. (Pg. 234) 13 Original Clan Mothers

Self Reflection: Am I taking time for meditation, contemplation, reflection?  What is my definition of regenerative sleep?

Facing Both Darkness and Light

The November moon energy calls us to face our shadow and our fears, as well as to acknowledge our achievements and dreams (all parts of sharing our truth). 

If we are able to face our fears and our shadow while there is still light, perhaps we would not be so afraid of the darkness. Perhaps the tendency for depression and isolation would not be so strong during the winter months. 

If we could acknowledge ourselves in our successes and deservedness, with humility and balance and clear vision, then perhaps we could truly enjoy those months, which if we prepared and allowed ourselves, could result in a lot of creativity and fulfillment.  

Self Reflection:  I name and acknowledge the successes I have had in all aspects of my life. I name and acknowledge my deserving as a child of Creation.  This is me, Sharing Truth. 

The Waning Moon in Winter Can Get Really Dark

Perhaps it's all the holiday lights that make the dark seem even darker.

Certainly it is the ever shortening days that remind us of just how dark it can get.

Not just in the out of doors, but within ourselves as well.

All the cheeriness and sparkling lights can seem to make a dark mood darker as well.

No shadow is cast in this deep darkness.

We need not be distracted or frightened by their distortions.

We can choose to slow down and be present to the growing dark. 

We can choose to sit with the darkness and come to know it better.

For the gift of this time of growing dark is that, in the end

the deeper the dark the easier to recognize

The small flicker of light that is eternal within us.

Self Reflection: I will embrace my times of darkness. I will let my inner eyes adjust and I will see the small flicker of eternal light within.

Pouring Out Like the Bowl of the Waning Moon

The waning moon is the pouring out phase of the moon cycle.  At certain times of the year, the upside down positioning of the visible moon can mimic a bowl turned on edge to pour out its' contents.
As we approach the midway point of the waning moon phase, we check our intention and purpose in sharing our truth.
The writing on one of the waning moon journal pages reminds us that our path should not interfere with the path of others.

Self Reflection: I pour myself out into the world with care.

All Truth Cycles Imply Movement

Rhythms and cycles imply movement
They also imply there is a repeat in pattern, an ongoing return to repeat,
or to begin again further down the path
or further up the spiral.

Life has rhythms and cycles as well.
Perhaps this is why some of us are drawn to journal amidst the moon cycles,
using the Cycles of Truth as our guiding star.

To Share Truth is 'Walking Our Talk'.  We are growing, changing and 'choosing' beings.  The moment we entertain stubbornness or status quo we are no longer in a present time, we then are no longer in Truth. A very blunt spiritual teacher once said to me "You are either dynamic or dead; ultimately there are no other options."

We are all walking a spiritual path in our life, and by being conscious of our path we remain in motion. Our spirituality is a dynamic process; spirituality is NOT passive!

Self Reflection: Do I experience my spirituality as dynamic? passive?

Carolyn comments: Depending on where the teachings on the cycles of truth are sourced, the 10th and 11th cycles both may refer to Walking the Truth.  This could be a confusion in translation or interpretation, but I have come to understand this seeming confusion not as confusion, but as an invitation to be conscious of the ACTIVE action required in both October's cycle of 'Work/Walk Truth' and November's cycle to 'Share Truth' as Bob and Lee Nitsch name these cycles, or 'Walk Truth' as Jamie Sams and Kenneth Cohen acknowledge it. The teaching source (Grandmother Twylah Nitsch) is the same.

Interaction and Inner-action

This cycle of Share Truth is a month of action: interaction and inner-action.
Both are necessary for moving in and through the world

Interaction with others, in our family, our community, our work
Inner-action as we go deeply within ourselves to clear out the clutter,
to make way for our authentic self to bloom.

Self Reflection: Where am I taking action in my life?  Who an I interacting with? What is my 'inner-action'?

Saying Yes to Creating Self

We are coming to the close the the Truth Cycle to Work and Walk in, with, for Truth.  In the final days of this cycle our unexpressed longings may feel more urgent.  Our inner artist/co-creator longs to be expressed in her fullness. Our longings are the seedbeds for creating ourselves.

Truth: you already have what you need to be who you are.  

It is there in the longing.

There is still time to say "Yes!" to growing to our full being.  

There is always time to say "Yes!"  

"Yes!" is the creative nudge.  

"Yes!" must be said everyday, even if some days it is just "yes!".

Self Reflection:  As a living breathing being I am saying "yes!" in some way to my inner-creative self every day. I am, whether I am conscious of my "yes" or not.  How am I saying "yes" to my inner creative self? How do I want to say "yes"?

Working and Walking Truth in Present TIme

"A secure future depends on walking in balance every living moment".  Thirteen Original Clan Mothers  (Pg. 198)

Perhaps part of the problem is I have held on to and not shared what I have been given in wisdom and awareness in a path of healing (with others).  And so, there is no space for what I long for (abundance, relationship, health etc) in my life. What does all this 'holding on' or 'coming up short' represent in me?  What part of me am I holding on to that prevents my True Self, my authentic, real self from being present?  What of my True Self am I holding at bay, denying, hiding from myself and from others?

Self Reflection: To get where I am going, I must BE where I am.

Practices for Learning to Let Go

When we have carried a belief, habit or fear around for a long enough time, it begins to feel as if it is part of who we are. It becomes a part of our identity.  Just the idea of letting go of something that has become our blanket of security, or our 'go to' comfort, increases our anxiety.  Anxiety further shrinks our ability to see the potential for our life.  For many people this becomes an ever deepening rut of  repeat limiting, self-destructive behaviors.

Here are two practices which can help us become willing, able and ready to let go of what keeps us from creating our dreams:

The first practice I call the 'god-box' practice. Write what it is you wish to release on a small piece of paper, fold it up so that the writing is folded inward.  An example:  "I ask for guidance and direction to let go of ___________________. "

If you have a personal altar you can place this request on your altar. I have a 'god-box' on my altar and use that to hold my requests and intentions. If you don't have an altar, to choose a small, special container to hold your requests and place it where you will see it regularly. There is nothing more you need do, except to keep your ears, your eyes and your heart alert for the guidance and direction you will begin to see as you move through your days.

This is not to say your letting go will be instantaneous or easy, though sometimes it is.  Often, our guidance comes in unexpected ways-someone shows up in our life who is able to guide us through an arduous letting go process.  Sometimes letting go comes in stages, by bits and pieces.  Sometimes, we find letting go just happens. Awareness and asking are the key ingredients to letting go over time. Letting go is an intentional request.  The willingness is ours to choose, the timing of when it actually happens, however, is not in our control.

The second practice for when you are not sure if you are yet willing or able to let go:
Write a prayer for the willingness to pray for the willingness to let go. An example:  "Creator, I pray for the willingness to become willing to ask for guidance and direction and inspiration to let go ________________.

Self Reflection: I read this prayer everyday, upon waking and before sleep.  Soon I find myself writing my request for guidance and direction.  Now, I am ready for the gifts of the 'god box'.