Feeling Alone and Forgetting Truth

Carolyn shares: I wake up very early. The cloud cover has shut out every bit of light from the moon and the stars. All the holiday lights are off in the neighborhood. I'm in the midst of that in-between everything time when I feel totally alone, disconnected from everything and everyone; even from the source of creation. It is a terrible anxiety, moments of total desperation, loss, panic, confusion. I recognize how often these feeling pass through me.--I wonder if I have tapped into an ancient feeling in the core of human beings in those moments, hours, days, maybe even weeks, when they felt alone. How often I forget I am connected to ALL.  I can't ever really escape this connection, but I am always forgetting it. THAT is probably the main reason I stay connected to the mooncyclecircle--so I  forget less and know my connection more. Then, I am able to be a place for others to know and remember their connection as well.  

When I forget, I close myself up in seeming self-protection, and these feelings can not pass through.  Instead, they must take up residence in  my body ('my own personal, 'oh shit, here I go again' response), my mind (which brings up all the bad stories from my memory), my emotions (I feel them in the racing of my heart) and my spirit (which I think feels desperate in my disconnection). They are trapped there until I open up again, which happens ONLY through my willingness to remember I am always connected, even when I forget I am.

Self-Reflection:  Am I willing to open up enough to let the difficult, scary panic,anxiety and fear pass through?  

Courage to Share the Truth of 'Me"

Courage:  The lion in The Wizard of Oz thought he lacked Courage.  He didn't lack courage.  He was ruled by fear and an overrated sense of needing to be in control. 

Fear in its' proper place is an invitation to 'Pay attention to what is coming (next)'.  Ironically, this is also what having a crow fly into your life also means in an interpretation as an animal  totem.  For many of us, when fear comes up we automatically go into hiding or into control mode--our instinctive 'best options' for safety. 

Self-reflection:  Am I in touch with how fear impacts my life? Am I willing to step back (the next blog topic) and pay attention?  Paying attention can lead me to seeing what is possible.  Seeing what is possible opens the space for courage if fear does not take control.

P.S. Carolyn's personal share: A number of years ago I was invited to use the Serenity Prayer as a daily practice in my life.  When I go into control mode, I hear a little voice in my head:

Self Reflection: (God) grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Be Brave and Speak the Truth of your Self

Be brave and speak the truth of your Self.
Your longings point to the truth of your being--
who you are in your essence.
Speak the truth about these longings.
Don't speak to the naysayers who will dissuade you,
and encourage you to stay in a diminished state of being.
Speak of your longing to those who will encourage you
to go forward on your journey of becoming.
Speak-up! Speak!

Self Reflection:  I acknowledge my brave Spirit and I have faith I am able and willing to speak my truth

It Takes Courage to Speak Truth

It Takes Courage to Speak Truth

Speaking Truth requires courage, sometimes immense courage.
In our daily life, this courage for speaking truth comes in the form of commitment to not consciously* lie. We pay attention to our feeling states and check our motives behind our words. In our commitment to speak truth we do this practice before we say something, or push the send button on a text or email. In this, we practice a continual self review of our intentions and motives. We stay in awareness that there is often a deeper meaning to our feelings than what we may be aware of. This is a Spiritual Practice.  It is a moment to moment continuation of a contemplation practice.  It takes courage to live in this way. 


consciously* Note from Carolyn: In my own life I have become aware of how I use 'consciousness' in my vocabulary. It is easy to say 'I wasn't conscious...'.  What I recognize is that I sometime choose not to let my conscience into my consciousness. Once I committed to a daily spiritual practice, more material that had previously resided in the realm of my subconscious and unconscious began to move into my consciousness. Sometimes I find myself not wanting to be conscious of what I know is a more complete 'truth' about my thoughts, feelings, actions.  But, my inner knowing no longer lets me live in this state of denial without great cost to myself. In my life I know this has happened when I feel resentful or am ruminating over something. This is always a clue I have drank from the river of denial. 

Self Reflection:  Just for this day, I will be conscious of what I know as a more complete 'truth' about my thoughts, feelings and actions. 

Prayer for the Courage to Know My Real Self

I ask to be willing to continue my journey to know and accept who I am.

To accept who I am in the core of my being, as the person I am created to be, my Real and True Self.

Keep me solid in my sense of excitement and possibility for what I discover

as I stay in willingness to know myself better.

Keep the illusions of images and roles, mistakes and humiliation at bay.

Remind me these illusions can overpower my ability to sense what it Truth.

Steady me as I begin to feel the hope and freedom of truthful knowing 

that comes with accepting this new awareness of myself.

Keep me in the place of hope and possibility as I ask:
"What if I really could be...?"

"What if I really could do...?"

"What if I really am...?"

Keep me in present time, the only time there is, where I embrace possibility as reality.

Self Reflection: I ask to be willing to know and accept the Truth who I am.

Share Truth or Share Delusions

A brief interruption on our exploration of qualities needed to share truth--or maybe the perfect example?

Today's MoonCycleCircle blog gives her posting space over her space to a colleagues's post:
Dr. Kelly Flanagan on the ego, connection and co-creation

Carolyn writes: I chose to share Kelly's post because he shared so clearly the challenge of discerning Truth and Delusion, He describes how easily delusion is taken as truth, and how this comes to be so. He names the difficulty and vital importance of coming to know Truth and the courage to share Truth in the world.