To 'Thank' Requires Action

I can be grateful for what is true/truth in myself. But, what is truth of myself that I do 'thank'?

What does it mean to thank the truth of myself?  This moon cycle we are instructed to 'thank' truth;  not just being grateful, but actively 'thank'.  It’s easy to be grateful for what we deem to be ‘good’ about our self; more challenging to be grateful for what we deem as ‘bad’.  Being grateful is an internal process.  We just think, 'Oh, yes, I'm so grateful ...."  There is a lovely feeling that arises when we sit in gratitude. But, to thank 'Truth' requires active engagement with that we are thanking-whether it is something within our self or another person, place or thing.  The very act of consciously being thankful for what we accept as 'Truth' opens a space for conscious creation of something even more true. This action invites transformation.  This is what deep personal transformation work invites—getting us look at our current view of what is true about how we experience our life, and opening the door for a bigger and more active truth to be created.

Self Reflection: When I find a way to thank everything I think I know about myself, regardless of how I judge it to be good or bad, I will have freed myself of the binding that keeps me stuck in unpleasant pain, patterns, and distress.  Am I willing to thank ALL of what is Truth of the person I am? 

The Foundation for Living in Gratitude

These are the foundations that are the basis for living in gratitude:

What Is:  there is so much goodness available.  In fact, the darker the space, the more place there is for good.

What Has Been: We will not regret the past nor try to shut the door on it.

My Gifts: we are the treasurer of our life.  What does that mean? Being able to work the edges and the core of our being at the same time.

My Trials:  It's so easy this time of year to run around like like a lunatic, to lose connection with what grounds me. When I let my environment direct my actions, I can not hear Higher Guidance.

Self Reflection:  I have the ability to listen for gratitude, to discern gratitude in all situations.  The only question is am I willing to live in gratitude rather than ego?

Noticing Choice

It is important to acknowledge both the light and the shadow in how we live our daily lives.  Our truth is played out in the 10,000 choices we make each day.  When we notice and give ourselves credit for the times we choose alignment with our higher self, we have less need to hide from the shadow self.

Sara's personal share: While I easily acknowledge my gifts and abilities, I find they are often a source of shame:  I feel shame for not living up to my potential, not being as "good" as I "should" be, given how I have been blessed.  My "review/release" circle is filled with choices I made that "could have" been more in alignment with my Truth.  Today, I am reminded that I also need to balance my review with acknowledging the choices I make every day that ARE in alignment.

Self Reflection: Do I carry shame about my gifts, abilities, accomplishments?  If so, how has this affected my ability to align myself in truth? to Share my Truth?

Stepping into the World As a Full, Feeling, Imperfect Human Being

These qualities are seeded in our hearts and our being.  They are already within us in the seedbed of our souls. A few tiny sprouts will support us stepping out into our world. ***

Humility
Compassion
Letting Go
Stepping Forward
Courage
Stepping Back
Taking Hold
Honest Self-Presentation
Risk-Taking
Slowing Down
Speeding Up

Self-Reflection: Which of these qualities are familiar to me? Which are waiting to take root, to sprout?

 ***Over the course of this waxing moon, each of these qualities will be contemplated.  May they each grow and nourish us.

Stepping fully into the Journey on Our Web

What flows from me inevitably leads me to becoming more whole
              and complete in my life.  
What flows from me is not originated by me, but through me.  

I am not responsible or creating the idea, the inspiration. 

I am responsible for using all of my senses (including the sixth sense)

And allowing what comes to flow through me.

This I can allow, support, encourage.

This I can nourish in the womb of my being.  

I trust what comes through me will be known to me 

           at the right time, 

                        and the right place.  

This is the stance of faith.

Just like with spider, the fibers to spin her web flow from her when she is

           in the right time 

                        and the right place/space.

Self Reflection:  Read this contemplation aloud four times. Then, sit and listen, just for a few minutes, letting the specific truth of this message for YOU come into consciousness.  If mind wants to run away from what  is coming in, gently bring her back until you feel the resonance of the message settling in your heart. 

Note: Spider totem represents a feminine aspect of the creative source 

                 and is part of all of us, whether we are female or male.  

Aligning your Dreams, Desires, Goals and Vision

Sara writes:  To be honest, when I sat down with the four circles of 'Dreams', 'Desires', 'Goals' and 'Vision' this morning, I wondered why on earth we had chosen four words that meant the same thing. Then I started writing:

• Desires-what my heart is calling for, that for which I feel a lack or emptiness 
• Dreams-what I would love to have in my life.  Again mostly what I don' have (yet)
• Goals-what I hope to accomplish, in specifics
• Vision-how I see myself manifesting in the world and how the Universe manifests around me

I remember a time, about 13-14 years ago when a similar exercise (in the middle of a corporate  retreat) nearly caused a complete emotional breakdown.  I was living my life trying to fulfill someone else's desires, reach goals that had been set by those who controlled my financial future, had room only for the dream of safety and didn't dare let myself look at a vision of how my life was manifesting.

When we are not in touch with our inner self, we lose the ability to weave a coherent web.  Those four apparently similar words end up disconnected when they do not spring from our own inner truth,  from our own core wisdom.  

Self Reflection: Are my Dreams, Desires, Goals and Vision in alignment?  Can they all be contained and supported by the web I am weaving with my choices and my life?

Sharing Our Will With The Divine

For most of us our first experience of turning our will over to the Divine is when we have run out of options.  How many times have the words "I give up!" or 'Help!" or "I can't do this anymore." or "F%*& this!" come out of our mouths. Those words are a first step toward sharing our Will with Divine.

Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have habit of letting our life get to such edges of desperation before we become willing to change what we are doing, before we open the door for unseen options? Some of us are slow learners.  Some of us have grown up feeling we have to do it all our selves in order to deserve things getting better.

The practice of getting directions for living of our life from a source other than our habits, our egos, our emotions, or our minds, is just that...a practice.  It is a practice that is best done with at least one other person as witness and corroborator.  We share with one other person our intentions for the day, and we connect with them at the end of the day how we were able to hold and complete our intention, or how we were tripped up in our efforts.

Self Reflection:  What is the one area of my life I would be willing, maybe even LOVE to have a direction better than I where I am currently heading?  So far, what has kept me from giving my will over to Creator?

Live Truth, Waxing Moon: How to Be the Essence of Our Truth

September Moon carries the auspicious energy of the clan mother Jamie Sams refers to as 'Keeper of Tomorrow’s Goals and Dreams' (pg. 185). This month revitalizes our commitment to live as fully in our life as we are currently able. This kind of re-commitment  seems necessary following the often busy and chaotic energies of the summer months.

The Path of Live Truth is a call to awareness on many levels:  Of our own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self, as well as awareness of all that is going on around us. The close of the day has a vibrational frequency (a unique energetic sense) that is not felt at other times of the day. The awareness we give to this  'close of the day' energy frequency supports our ability to reconnect to to the earth, to our intuition, as well as to the ancient ways. It is only by connecting to the natural world that we are truly able to sustain our connection to a sustainable wisdom [Truth] (MacEowen pg.7).

Carolyn writes: From my own life experience, I find sustaining my connection with the Truth I am aware of is difficult. The teaching of this moon cycle gives us ways to sustain this connection: Keeping our vision and our goals in the forefront of our minds, our eyes to what is ahead and consciously dreaming our dreams—every day!

This energy of Live Truth calls us to connect with our discipline, our determination, and our dependability--which are strongly aligned with our will. In the next few posts for the waxing moon cycle we will explore the role of will in Living Truth.

Self Reflection: How am I keeping and honoring my goals and dreams for my life?

Frustration and Serving Truth

Not feeling good enough, smart enough, energized enough or deserving enough, is what keeps us from being able to Serve Truth; even when we ARE willing to be of service. Because these feeling-states (all those 'enough's') are not based on Truth, but rather on illusion and misconception, it is incredibly difficult to be in service of truth from this way of being.

In Michael Singer’s book 'The Surrender Experiment', he writes of his commitment to accept  whatever it is he is asked to do--even when he is in doubt about his abilities, or if the request doesn’t make sense in his logical mind.  This commitment is an act of faith; a faith which develops over time.  Having faith allows us to move past our need to be 'enough', and to serve without any need to predict the outcome.  It is an act that develops with practice.  It does not just happen. We must ask and invite it to become a part of our life.

Prayer and contemplation are key to receiving the direction we need, and to hear what 'Service to Truth' is being asked of us. 

Self Reflection:  I become aware of what weighs me down. As the full moon approaches, I begin sorting what am I willing to release my control over, and what guidance I am now willing to receive, so I may be more visible and freer to serve the world and  my true self.

Waxing Moon's Gift

The rhythm of the Waxing Moon builds energy, preparing for fullness, movement, release.  In the intention to be in service of Truth, our awareness of building to this fullness is a gift. Most people are not aware of these natural rhythms, or if they are aware of these rhythms, they are more likely to experience them as interference rather than support. Our willingness to receive this Divinely orchestrated energy, in the ebb and flow with which it comes to us, will fuel our life in a balanced and regenerative way.  The mere act of asking changes everything.  Ask for direction.  Then LISTEN WITH ALL YOUR SENSES for that direction. Then of course—follow it!

Self Reflection:  Am I aware of my natural rhythms? Do I experience them more as interference or more as support?

Tomorrow:  An alignment prayer for when we are running out the door!

Serving the Truth of Self is a Path for Self Renewal

To serve the Truth, I begin with serving self, which is NOT a form of self enslavement.

In being a servant to my own truth, I renew my being, becoming ever more of my true self, the human I came to Earth to 'be'.  The waxing moon for Serve Truth is about RENEWAL--birthing, re-birthing, healing, becoming new again.  

In this practice of  'renewal', I am reflecting, releasing, realigning, reconnecting. 

I reflect--My willingness to reflect on my life brings my to seeing in a more expanded and visionary way.

I release-- As I establish a practice of reflection, I notice my preconceived notions, beliefs and ideas about who I am and even what I do, can do, can't do. It is then possible to seek support to 'let go', to release, what is not healing or supportive for my life. 

I realign-- As I let go and release those parts that are 'not truth for me' (this is not the same thing as bad or wrong, just not who you are), I must consciously recenter in my own being. I am realigning my new awareness with the being experience myself to be. Another word for this is to ground oneself or to be centered in oneself.

I reconnect--As I realign with my self, I am connected with more of the Truth of who I am.  I am more whole. From this ongoing practice of reflecting, releasing, realigning, reconnecting. I am then able to connect and reconnect with others and in this way to Serve Truth.

Self Reflection: In this time of  'renewal', I practice reflecting, releasing, realigning, reconnecting. 

Loving the Truth of All Aspects of ‘Me’: Starting with My Body

Imagine yourself taking a taking a walk with your physical body. Of course, anytime we take a walk, it is our physical body who does the walking, but this time, imagine you are walking with your physical body, as a companion to her.  The two of you are walking with the intention of having a truthful conversation about your body and it is first ‘body’s’ opportunity to speak truth to you, and you job is listening and to receive with an open, non-judging and receptive heart, to your body’s truth.

Carolyn shares: "The first time walking with my body, I chose a set time for meditation-about 25 minutes and sat comfortably, imagining walking beside this body, long silver grey hair and an easy gate in her walk. I ask  my‘body’ to speak to me the truth of her experience as the one who carries the rest of me around. 

"My body speaks: 'You don’t give me enough time-enough time to go to the bathroom, I feel hurried, like you are impatient with how long bodily functions take. And the same with eating. I can’t digest as fast as you eat, it’s hard for stomach to deal with the chunks of food that you haven’t chewed well enough to break down. This makes your allergies worse, and then I suffer for that because I have bits of toxins and irritation in the most tender places of my body: my joints and soft tissue. It’s hard to stay healthy when I am using so much of my daily energy to deal with that, and yet, I want to move more. That would help every part of me.'

"My body continues: 'I feel like when you look at me you are comparing me with how you think I should look, noticing new wrinkles and age spots, or places you call ‘fat’. Give me time and I can show you how I am meant to look- not the way you think I should, not the way I do now. You are not able to imagine that, but I would reveal it to you, if you would let me.'

"I ask what Body needs: 'Love me, appreciate the 24/7 work I do for you. Be willing to set aside the habits of the emotions and the mind where I end up feeling like a catch-all for your unfinished emotions and unresolved conflicts. I am a garbage can for food stuff that you love, but is toxic for my cells and my heart. Have gratitude, don’t just say it, act toward me as if you are grateful. This is energy for me, for my soul-yes I am a part of your soul.' I am surprised by that, I hadn’t thought of my soul as having ‘parts’, but it makes sense when I think about it, that I am ALL a manifestation of my soul’s energy.

"My time for my walk with my body is coming to a close, and I feel I have just scratched the surface in hearing what my body would teach me about her truth. I am surprised that the anxiety I had at the start is no longer present in my body, or in my feelings. I feel more connected with this physical part of myself.  I do thank my body, and I AM living in a different way to change this relationship with my body. I feel my intention and desire to be in partnership with her, a symbiotic relationship, being mutual servants to each other. I thank her and let her know we will walk again. "Everyday” She says. “I’m not finished yet!”"

Self Reflection:  What would my body say to me?  Am I willing to walk with her and listen?

Waiting to Speak Truth

There are days when what to say eludes me.
The urge to speak is strong, yet no words come.
I look around for hints or clues: checking out this book or that;
I  listen for what others have to say to inspire me or point me in a right direction.
I'm looking for clues to say what is, as of yet,still unknown to me.
So, I sit and wait.
My body becomes increasingly antsy.
My emotions are rattled; crabby, resentful.
My mind races, doubts, and eventually, worn down by her antics, shuts down.
Can I keep from getting desperate, and speak what would be contrived? not true?

The story is there, just not revealed, not at this time.
I can only look within and patiently wait,
Compassionately wait.
If I judge myself for not knowing,
If I try too hard to make the story come,
I may not hear the still small voice when she begins to whisper.
Not having words to speak, when I need to speak, is agony.

Self Reflection:  There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

June Waxing Moon: Speaking Truth, Telling Our Story

To start off the cycle of Speak Truth, Carolyn Shares three quotes from three women who have influenced her love of story as a guiding force in life--and given her courage to keep speaking, even when she didn't think she could.

“Telling a true story about personal experience
is not just a matter of being oneself, or even of
finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing
oneself..”
-- Harriet Goldhor Lerner (author of The Dance of Anger)

“When the Storyteller tells the truth, she reminds us
that human beings are more alike than unalike....A
story is what it’s like to be a human being—to be
knocked down and to miraculously arise. Each one of
us has arisen, awakened.
We do rise.”
--Maya Angelou (remembering her with immense gratefulness for how she shared so abundantly her gifts with all humankind)

"Storyteller, Clan Mother of the Sixth Moon Cycle, reminds us that if we are willing to expand, growing beyond our former zone of comfort in a healthy way, we must pay attention to all of the events in our lives.  There is a story connected to every living thing and every person in our world. How that story influences out personal Earthwalks is determined by our willingness to see another's experience as a way to learn about ourselves...Storyteller asks us to see the similarities in ourselves and others, finding ways to learn from the stories we all share in common."

--Jamie Sams (Author and inspirer of our circle)

Self Reflection: Whoa are the women in my life who Speak the Truth? 

Feelings Are Real, But They Might Not be Reality

A woman of wise counsel tells Carolyn; "Remember that feelings are real; but they may not be reality."
Our feelings are real.  They frequently determine our decisions- both our action and our inaction.

In discerning, we honor that the feelings we have are the feelings we have. We can't say --"I'm not going to have XYZ feelings" and expect that 'poof', our feelings just won't be there.  To live with this expectation would be living in denial, or self-delusion, or living in a lie.

When our feelings won't leave us alone, we can be pretty sure these feelings are out of alignment with Truth.  Whether these feelings are of shame or feelings of superiority, it is likely these feelings are not based in reality.

How do we begin to weigh the truth of our feelings? Begin with awareness of feeling, and (over time) we begin to be able to 'sniff out' what is true and is is misguided. Our feelings will come in alignment with that Truth.

Self-Reflection: Begin with, be with this awareness.  Refrain from self-judgment. That is all I need do for now.

Carolyn's Vision and Intention for March--weighing the truth of from where I have come and where I may go (grow)!

This month I want to look at the truths underneath my reaction patterns and my response to my experiences.  
I commit to exploring how the beliefs I carry are not really truth, but are based on fears and staying small.  I want to see if this is really true—or if this is just another area where I am not being truthful with myself and others.  
My intention as I move from the new moon through the full moon is to seek clarity around settling in and creating a secure home for myself.  
I ask for wisdom and discernment about how to best steward my home and for good and wise decisions.  
I seek that my decisions are based on truths and not on my fears.  
My second intention for this month is in the Element of finances in the Creative Aspect.  
I commit to seeing the truth underlying my reactions, behaviors and spiritual connection around money issues.  
Prayer contemplation and seeking support from others and from Source is what I commit to –releasing what is not true and being willing to see more clearly the vision for what IS possible in my vision for my future.  
I realize I have only allowed myself glimpses of what might be possible for me (and my life). I commit to building a clear and abundant vision as I also commit to seeing and forgiving the origin(s) of my fears.

Reflecting on the Waxing Phase of February's Moon Cycle

In this waxing phase we have brought awareness to our story (history):
Reflect on your writing from the Waxing Moon page for Honor Truth:

We ask for clarity in what has been brought forth:  Remember manifesting truth is not about correcting wrong behaviors. Manifesting Truth is building on the foundation of our birthright (the part of our being Creator created--the intention for our birth, at this time in history, in this place.

We humbly ask for, to take in, Creator's perspective--We ask what Creator (by whatever name you know this Source of All That Is) sees for our life, for Creator's perspective.

Self Reflection:  Can I accept the feast for my life that is my birthright? Can I remember that this choice is offered to me EVERYDAY?

Honor Truth Transforms Our Perception

Honor Truth is a call to be aware of our perceptions.
We are aware of how our perception of what Truth is just that, our perception.
Then, we give our perception over to the possibility of having our awareness transformed.
This can only happen when we are truthful about our perceptions of what is.
Then we open the door to the possibility that there is more than what we currently perceive.
Our life IS different than our current perception!
The possibility for fullness is a probability. NO! It is a promise.
When we open to our wholeness, the transformation of our whole life begins.

Self Reflection: Am I aware of my perceptions of my life?

Serve Truth Mandala for the Waxing Moon

The Music of Serve Truth. Lisa Kay, 8.5' x 9", sheet music, watercolor, money plant seed cases, scrabble tiles
Copyright, Lisa Kay