Be Willing to Share Truth and the Heart Will Open

It was easier to stay small
When I thought there were limits to my being.
I could act smaller than I was,
Give less than I could,
Excuse my bad behaviors,
Hold on to resentments,
Stay in ignorance,
Claim self-reliance.
Not need others
Be superior.

Ahhh, but....
The only true limitations of being human comes when the heart is closed.
There is such bliss in an open heart,
Even when things are tough or seem to go wrong.
There is some kind of magic that seems to happen when
I just show up and be who I am in my
imperfect, True,
considerably more than adequate self.
The cycle of Share Truth , as does every Cycle of Truth, comes with her own marvelous gifts.
They are ours to discover, to claim as our own.

Self Reflection: Am I willing to discover my gifts, claim them and give up those ways in which I still play small?

A Firsthand Experience with Sharing Truth

Carolyn shares: On my journey of learning what it means to 'Share Truth', I've had many firsthand lessons. One such lesson happened as I woke up early one Sunday morning with an intense awareness that I needed to do something for a woman who was about to undergo a very serious operation. If I said 'yes' to this spiritual nudging, it meant giving up a good chunk of my afternoon and evening.  It also meant I would be giving away a shawl I had spent a great deal of time and effort creating.  I felt my hesitation about both things-giving up my time and letting go of an object of beauty I had become attached to.

But, the awareness would not leave me alone. During my morning meditation, the nudging became stronger. So, I rearranged my day, and that afternoon took the train to the city, hailed a taxi to the hospital and offered the shawl.

The other part of this story is that in this nudging awareness, I also felt an insistent urging to hold a healing ceremony for blessing and protection.  My tendency is to keep this 'sacred object' wrapped up and hidden safely away from view, as if it were only for a 'special occasion'.  I act as if I were keeping some kind of sacred 'secret' and I don't share about it, or offer it to others, as though somehow my not sharing and keeping it hidden away was being humble (by the way, I have learned that not sharing  is never humble). As I observe this behavior in myself, it seems rather that I more selfish  by not letting others see or share the fullness of who I am and what I am able to offer, and by not sharing what I have been given. This, unfortunately is a lesson where I seem to need repeated teaching!

This is what I have learned: Sharing Truth is an action step.  It's not enough to have the concepts, or know the principles of Truth.  I must be willing to share actively ALL of myself-All the Truths of Me when asked, when needed.

Self Reflection: Am I willing to share actively ALL of myself-All the Truths of Me?

The Four Levels of Risk-Taking

Over the last few posts, an invitation has been made to take hold of all that supports our life and puts ourselves out into the world in the honesty of who we are as human and spiritual beings.
And so, we are invited to  practice risk taking,
Not the risk taking of an innocent child, ignorant of dangers;
not the reckless, impulse kind of risk-taking of adolescent,
or the compulsive risk taking of an addict.
This kind of risk taking of Shares Truth.
This is the person who can
Breathe in,
Pause,
and with the out breath
Opens to inner and Divine wisdom and
Risks status-quo
to bring more Truth into the world.

Self Reflection: Am I willing to risk status-quo? Will I feel deeply the Truth of Divine Wisdom and and share the beautiful Truth of my being with the world.

Honest Self-Presentation May Not Be What You Think

Honest Self-Presentation?

In his November 18th post of daily meditations, Emmet Fox (1886-1951) wrote that we cannot have too much respect for ourselves, or too much confidence, that we must claim as much as we can for ourselves, all the while realizing these are an expression of the Divine within us, that these qualities are not of our own creation, but are of our expression.  And then, he reminds us that we must also accept them as true for every human being.

We realize we are sacred beings
and our sacredness
NEVER
ends in failure!

"Think, talk, live your divine glorious selfhood, and it will demonstrate itself in your life!"
Emmet Fox

Self Reflection: What one doable act could I commit to that would support me living more of my Divine Glorious Self?

Taking Hold of Our True Self

Taking hold of our self, requires we hold sacred our core values. This requires we know what we honestly value in the core of our being.

Are we willing to be Truthful with ourselves about these core values, even if we are embarrassed to admit what these core values are? Our actions in the world are a either a reflection of the values seeded in our soul or the values of our ego. Either are acted out in the world as 'core values'.

In the cycle of Share Truth, we move through these weeks continually inquiring-Is what we express in our life an expression of the Truth at the core of our being?

Self Reflection: Take hold of who I am at the core of my being, and then take hold of all the support available to me so I can to live my truth.

Courage to Share the Truth of 'Me"

Courage:  The lion in The Wizard of Oz thought he lacked Courage.  He didn't lack courage.  He was ruled by fear and an overrated sense of needing to be in control. 

Fear in its' proper place is an invitation to 'Pay attention to what is coming (next)'.  Ironically, this is also what having a crow fly into your life also means in an interpretation as an animal  totem.  For many of us, when fear comes up we automatically go into hiding or into control mode--our instinctive 'best options' for safety. 

Self-reflection:  Am I in touch with how fear impacts my life? Am I willing to step back (the next blog topic) and pay attention?  Paying attention can lead me to seeing what is possible.  Seeing what is possible opens the space for courage if fear does not take control.

P.S. Carolyn's personal share: A number of years ago I was invited to use the Serenity Prayer as a daily practice in my life.  When I go into control mode, I hear a little voice in my head:

Self Reflection: (God) grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

The Bigger Picture of Stepping Back

The inner nudge to step back might come when we are in the midst of struggling to see things clearly, to know what to do next.
An artist will step back to get a clearer picture of his/her work.  In a sense to see, to have a truer vision of whether their creation is how they 'imaged' it when the impulse to create their art came to them.  This is true whether the 'artist' is a painter, gardner, carpenter, designer, chef, teacher...in other words, the innate creative part of each of us intuitively steps back to take in what we are creating out in the world. We step back to see if what we are sharing in the world is true to our inner knowing or vision.

Self-reflection:  The truth I share in the world is reflected back to me. When I step back to see the 'bigger picture' of what I am sharing, what Shared Truth do I see?

How Stepping Forward Shares Truth

May I become willing to step forward, to speak up when my soul stirs and feels the inner urging to stand where others might hold back from fear, shame or a desire not to be noticed in the crowd.

May I step forward to because I WANT to be more visible in the world to share who I AM in my truth.  May I step forward to share the imperfect fullness of me.  In this way, I am a mirror for others to also step forward in their unique, wonderful, imperfect fullness.

Self Reflection: Let me count the ways I step forward in my life to be fully in my humanness.

Letting Go of 'Our Way'

To Share Truth means opening our minds, hearts and actions to a direction other than our usual way of doing things.  Last month our reflection about letting go related to the things we hold fast to: stuff, relationships, beliefs, habits/addictions.  Now, our letting go is at a deeper level.  We consciously let go of attachment to our way of thinking and doing, adopting instead the intention to interact with our world from what we might call Divine Direction or Sacred Inspiration. 

When we have carried a belief, habit or fear around for a long enough time, it begins to feel as if it is part of who we are. It becomes a part of our identity.  Just the idea of letting go of something that has become our blanket of security, or our 'go to' comfort, increases our anxiety.  Anxiety further shrinks our ability to see the potential for our life.  For many people this becomes an ever deepening rut of  repeat limiting, self-destructive behaviors.

Here are two practices which can help us become willing, able and ready to let go of what keeps us from creating our dreams:

The first practice I call the 'god-box' practice. Write what it is you wish to release on a small piece of paper, fold it up so that the writing is folded inward.  An example:  "I ask for guidance and direction to let go of ___________________. "

If you have a personal altar you can place this request on your altar. I have a 'god-box' on my altar and use that to hold my requests and intentions. If you don't have an altar, to choose a small, special container to hold your requests and place it where you will see it regularly. There is nothing more you need do, except to keep your ears, your eyes and your heart alert for the guidance and direction you will begin to see as you move through your days.

This is not to say your letting go will be instantaneous or easy, though sometimes it is.  Often, our guidance comes in unexpected ways-someone shows up in our life who is able to guide us through an arduous letting go process.  Sometimes letting go comes in stages, by bits and pieces.  Sometimes, we find letting go just happens. Awareness and asking are the key ingredients to letting go over time. Letting go is an intentional request.  The willingness is ours to choose, the timing of when it actually happens, however, is not in our control.

The second practice for when you are not sure if you are yet willing or able to let go:
Write a prayer for the willingness to pray for the willingness to let go. An example:  "Creator, I pray for the willingness to become willing to ask for guidance and direction and inspiration to let go ________________.

Self Reflection: I read this prayer everyday, upon waking and before sleep.  Soon I find myself writing my request for guidance and direction.  Now, I am ready for the gifts of the 'god box'.

Cultivating Compassion

True service to others (not serving with a hidden agenda) is one meaning of Share Truth. Service to others can dissolve shame. Through service, the mask our self reliance will give way to experiencing the other, for whom we do service.  In a way, the playing field of life is leveled. When we can experience the other in their need, we are more able to experience our own need, and begin to see our self as we truly are.  In this way, shame diminishes.  Compassion is born.  We see others, we see our True self.  

Service strengthens the roots of compassion and dissolves the the roots of shame. 

Self Reflection:  Where in my life do I offer to be of service to others?  Am I willing to cultivate this service, bringing well-being to others and to myself as I do?

The Essentials of Growing Humility

Attempting to grow amidst humiliation and shame, Humility will struggle to thrive.

Yet, without humility, our ability to share the fullness of our life out in the world is thwarted .  Humility is the ability to stand tall, not with pride (which is a mask for covering shame and humiliation), but with a willingness to be seen as who we truly are; with imperfections and the awareness we will always continue to become more of ourselves. 

In the garden of our soul, shame is a tough and bitter herb. Humiliation has thorns as sharp as those of the thistle.  Pride is like the rotten trunk of a tree, easily uprooted and blown over by the wind, crushing tender shoots under the weight of her fall.  

Self Reflection: How will I nourish and tend the increase of my humility through self-care and kindness toward myself?  

Stepping into the World As a Full, Feeling, Imperfect Human Being

These qualities are seeded in our hearts and our being.  They are already within us in the seedbed of our souls. A few tiny sprouts will support us stepping out into our world. ***

Humility
Compassion
Letting Go
Stepping Forward
Courage
Stepping Back
Taking Hold
Honest Self-Presentation
Risk-Taking
Slowing Down
Speeding Up

Self-Reflection: Which of these qualities are familiar to me? Which are waiting to take root, to sprout?

 ***Over the course of this waxing moon, each of these qualities will be contemplated.  May they each grow and nourish us.

Our Journey to Share Truth:Begins

"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are."

C.G.Jung

This moon cycle leads us in the way to share Truth in the world. Our first call is to use the skills, gifts, experiences and dreams we carry within to share our truth. Our willingness to share our truth as best as we currently understand this Truth. That is all that is needed. That is enough.  More will be shared as is needed-we need only be open to receive. Our understanding of the Truth of our being grows toward fullness only when we become willing to share our truth as it is in the now.

Self Reflection: I claim and move in the fullness of who I am,with humility, so that I do not shame or humiliate others.

Gifts of October's Closing Moon

We each have a web of life we have co-created with the Source of our being.
Our web of life holds our dreams.
As we Work with Truth in our life, our love, desire and our efforts manifest our dreams in our life.
As we Walk in Truth, we are taking steps to share our life with others.
Our willingness to Share Truth in our life is the next essential step on the path of our Life.

Self Reflection:  I carry in my being stardust from the origin of the universe--the original big bang. Can I begin to imagine My Truth as big as that? What an origin!
I am connected to all of creation.  This is the Truth I am willing to Share in my work and my walk as I live my life.





 

Waking our Creative Spirit

The spirit of the artist lives within us all.
We are all creators, whether we own this essential part of our being or not.
To see our work in life as a creative act is a choice, regardless of what that work is.
If we walk in our life with an intention to create more love, peace, prosperity, balance..
        we walk as embodied artists for the Creator.
This is the path to Work and Walk in/with/for Truth.

Self Reflection:  How well do I know the spirit of my inner artist.  How would she express herself if I let her work in my life, walk in my life?

Saying Yes to Creating Self

We are coming to the close the the Truth Cycle to Work and Walk in, with, for Truth.  In the final days of this cycle our unexpressed longings may feel more urgent.  Our inner artist/co-creator longs to be expressed in her fullness. Our longings are the seedbeds for creating ourselves.

Truth: you already have what you need to be who you are.  

It is there in the longing.

There is still time to say "Yes!" to growing to our full being.  

There is always time to say "Yes!"  

"Yes!" is the creative nudge.  

"Yes!" must be said everyday, even if some days it is just "yes!".

Self Reflection:  As a living breathing being I am saying "yes!" in some way to my inner-creative self every day. I am, whether I am conscious of my "yes" or not.  How am I saying "yes" to my inner creative self? How do I want to say "yes"?

Guiding Words for Working with the Waning Moon

What we have to move us through the work for the waning moon:

Our Vision
Our Energy
Our Effort
Our Spirit

All must be in balance one with the other.
In this way, we Incarnate  to the fullness of who we are.

Vision, Energy, Effort and Spirit manifest in our Work in the world.
Vision, Energy, Effort and Spirit inform how we Walk in the world.
When each is in balance, our life can be balanced, regardless of the events of the world around us.

When Vision directs the show, looking to far to the future, we become dissociated from the 'now'.
With too little Vision, we forget our direction.
With too much Energy, we are manic and life is chaotic.
When depleted of Energy, we sink into hopelessness.
Exerting effort without regard for the capacity of body, mind or emotions, they become diseased.
Lethargy, the lack of intention for Effort, breeds entitlement and poverty of Spirit.
Spirit connected to Self and to Source, supports our life, our well-being.
Spirit, with no connection to Self and Source, distorts the Truth in our work and our walk.
Disconnected from Spirit, there is no life in our work and our walk.


Self Reflection: As this waning moon moves toward closure, I reflect on awareness of my vision, how I use my energy, my right use of effort, My connection to Spirit.

Letting Go of the Need to 'Let Go'

From yesterday's blog post, a practice is suggested of putting whatever we need to let go of in a specially designated container (such as a 'god box') and then leaving it there:
"There is nothing more you need do, except to keep your ears, your eyes and your heart alert for the guidance and direction you will begin to see as you move through your days."   

 Don't focus on what you think you must do, Just pay attention with all your senses, and a way for letting go will be revealed. Paying attention is an act of preparation for the manifestation of our dreams.  Paying attention also creates openings in our psyche, our behavior and our willingness for Great Mystery to enter.  In this way, we begin to experience the gifts of being co-creator of our life.


Self Reflection: Am I able to, ready to, willing to experience the gifts I receive when I am co-creator and not controller of my life?

Working and Walking Truth in Present TIme

"A secure future depends on walking in balance every living moment".  Thirteen Original Clan Mothers  (Pg. 198)

Perhaps part of the problem is I have held on to and not shared what I have been given in wisdom and awareness in a path of healing (with others).  And so, there is no space for what I long for (abundance, relationship, health etc) in my life. What does all this 'holding on' or 'coming up short' represent in me?  What part of me am I holding on to that prevents my True Self, my authentic, real self from being present?  What of my True Self am I holding at bay, denying, hiding from myself and from others?

Self Reflection: To get where I am going, I must BE where I am.

Practices for Learning to Let Go

When we have carried a belief, habit or fear around for a long enough time, it begins to feel as if it is part of who we are. It becomes a part of our identity.  Just the idea of letting go of something that has become our blanket of security, or our 'go to' comfort, increases our anxiety.  Anxiety further shrinks our ability to see the potential for our life.  For many people this becomes an ever deepening rut of  repeat limiting, self-destructive behaviors.

Here are two practices which can help us become willing, able and ready to let go of what keeps us from creating our dreams:

The first practice I call the 'god-box' practice. Write what it is you wish to release on a small piece of paper, fold it up so that the writing is folded inward.  An example:  "I ask for guidance and direction to let go of ___________________. "

If you have a personal altar you can place this request on your altar. I have a 'god-box' on my altar and use that to hold my requests and intentions. If you don't have an altar, to choose a small, special container to hold your requests and place it where you will see it regularly. There is nothing more you need do, except to keep your ears, your eyes and your heart alert for the guidance and direction you will begin to see as you move through your days.

This is not to say your letting go will be instantaneous or easy, though sometimes it is.  Often, our guidance comes in unexpected ways-someone shows up in our life who is able to guide us through an arduous letting go process.  Sometimes letting go comes in stages, by bits and pieces.  Sometimes, we find letting go just happens. Awareness and asking are the key ingredients to letting go over time. Letting go is an intentional request.  The willingness is ours to choose, the timing of when it actually happens, however, is not in our control.

The second practice for when you are not sure if you are yet willing or able to let go:
Write a prayer for the willingness to pray for the willingness to let go. An example:  "Creator, I pray for the willingness to become willing to ask for guidance and direction and inspiration to let go ________________.

Self Reflection: I read this prayer everyday, upon waking and before sleep.  Soon I find myself writing my request for guidance and direction.  Now, I am ready for the gifts of the 'god box'.

The Pain of Not Letting Go

The pain of not letting go...as human beings we tend to respond to life by either holding on no matter the cost, or stopping just short of the goal. In the animal world, only domesticated animals mimic this behavior.  Creatures in the wild could not survive if they behaved this way.  We human beings may survive, but we certainly don't thrive, and the life we create by living this way is painful, for us and for those around us.

Spider, as a totem so obviously does not hold on! Think about spider spinning and weaving her web. From her being comes the fiber and material for creation of the web. From her essence comes the knowing of its' form, its' creation.

Self Reflection: What does the web of my life represent for me? What is the cost of my holding on? What is the cost of my stopping too soon?

Living in the Mysrtery of Our Own Web of Life

There are ways our own web of life is known to us and ways in which it is still a mystery.
What is asked of us as we move in the space that is ours-to care for, to steward, to enjoy, to create?

Carolyn's personal share:  When I sit to write these blog posts, I sit in stillness asking for guidance, "What is helpful for me to hear, know, write for this day?"  As these posts are written day after day, I am aware the guidance is always there, yet I am frequently not able to hear or see it clearly.  Mental chatter, the static of conflicting needs and wants from other areas of my life result in impatience. I often feel pressure to get into my day (or to go to bed), or to meet another's want or need.  For me, this is the 'poison' that creates the distorted web Sara wrote about in her post on the weaving of one's web.

A Truth I  know as I stay committed to this path of living and being and serving is this:
My willingness to continue to ask for guidance helps me come back to a centered place where I am better able to hear and see guidance.
My willingness to have gratitude and appreciation for all that is in and around my life, regardless of how it currently appears/feels to me, clears a way for creativity.
When I can let go of 'my way', my time frame, my preconceived ideas and notions and prejudices, words and creativity flow.
All this is what allows my inner-artist to connect with Great Mystery to co-create my life (and these posts).  It is truly a wonderful experience and way of being. Knowing this, I wonder why I still leave this space so often?


Self Reflection:  What more is needed for me to trust I AM a gifted artist co-creating my life?

Thinking About the Web of Great Mystery

Moses Shongo's 'Pathway of Peace' meditation invites us to place our being on a very specific path, and on specific stones on that path leading to the  summit of  Great Mystery.  The 'Web of Life' is Great Mystery's web, Creator's web, Creation's web.  Our personal webs are but one among many. Creation is a web of webs. Yes, we are all connected.  We are all interconnected on the bigger web of Creation.

Self-reflection: I am a human being. I have been placed on the infinite web of Creation.  I have a specific place here on this web. I arrived with a path for my unique 'being', with nearly infinite possibilities.  I choose the steps to take on my path.  As part of the greater Web of Life, I will get input along the way re 'my path, my web'.  How discerning am I as to the source of the input? What/who supports my being? What/who diminishes and harms my being?

Gifts of the Cycles of Truth: The Pathway of Peace Meditation

This is a reading of the Pathway of Peace Meditation pages 95-97 in Honoring the Medicine by Kenneth Cohen

Pathway of Peace Meditation


Self Reflection:  Listen to the meditation, familiarizing yourself with the seven stepping stones and their gifts.  It is suggested you take 30 seconds to a minute (or more) at each of the steps to fully integrate the fullness of each stone along the path of the meditation.  This will require pausing the video and taking all the time you need/want before proceeding.  Alternately, over the course of a week, meditate with one of the pathway stones on each of the seven days.

Choosing A Walking Companion to Walk Truth

"You'll never walk alone"   1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical Carousel 


It is True, I never walk alone.  Yet, I am often unconscious of just who my walking companions are.
When I walk with resentemt, the other companions at my side are inevitably, shame, blame, and expectation.  With this gang I can predict what my life is going to look like with pretty good accuracy-and it will be more of the same.  Like attracts like.
I don't  like walking around with resentment, shame, blame and expectation.

What if I made a different choice? What if I chose to walk with Truth?

While I am not sure what walking with Truth would look like,

I do know who would I choose to walk alongside me and Truth, at least for starters.

Today, I ask for wisdom, compassion and curiosity to walk with me and 'Truth'.

Tomorrow I can choose different companions as I continue my walk.  

Over time I will come to know Truth better. 

Self Reflection:  Who are my walking companions?  

  

Waning Moon for Walk and Work Truth: Grandmother Spider, Clan Mother Weaves the Web

A partial posting from Sara's public blog cowgirlzen.com :

Because I am human, I am an imperfect lens through which the light of Creation shines.  My weavings are inevitably distortions of the indescribable beauty I feel inside.  To become enamored of them is to attach to the distortion.  To love without attachment is to honor the creative force embodied within them.  To let go is to acknowledge the abundance from which they sprang and from which sufficiently more will arise to take their place.

Spider shows me that much of this world can interfere with my weaving;  Substances, such as drugs and even caffeine, cause  orb spiders to create distorted and dysfunctional webs.   My addictions, lack of self-care, ego, and character defects distort what I intend to manifest in the world.  Several species of poisonous spiders, such as the brown recluse and black widow, weave "disorganized webs", as if the poison that is their survival mechanism is reflected in their self-created environment.

A spider's web is not only sticky, but electrically charged, making it an effective filter for whatever is in it's environment.  From that I learn I must be aware of the environment in which I choose to weave.  What am I attracting to my web?  What am I bringing to myself?

Spider teaches me that destruction and renewal are essential for continued evolution.  Some spiders, such as orb-weavers, construct a new web each day, systematically destroying and eating the old one.  Not discarded or dismissed, but integrated into the next cycle.  As I grow toward wholeness, my creations become purer and more clearly a reflection of what is at the core of my being.  I must be willing to create, destroy and re-create if I am to answer my heart's call.

Self Reflection: Where in my life do I need to destroy old patterns that I might create new ones?  Am I willing to do what is needed to answer my hearts call?  If not, am I willing to seek guidance and support so I can learn to express the beauty of what waits to be woven inside me? 

Full Moon for Walk and Work Truth; Grandmother Spider, Clan Mother Weaves the Web

A partial posting from Sara's public blog cowgirlzen.com :

We are inspired  this moon by "Weaves the Web", the prototypical mother of creative and destructive forces.  Spider medicine is strong in this season and moon cycle.

Weaves the Web and grandmother spider speak to me of manifesting the divine in my daily life.  Increasingly, my heart's desire is to simply be a daily, living expression of the Universal Love that I can sometimes touch in my meditations.  Today's lesson to me is about the importance of creating and then letting go of those creations.

Why, if I weave with the conscious intent of channeling the divine, should I not hold tightly, as sacred, to what I create?

Because I am human.

Because I am human, I am an imperfect lens through which the light of Creation shines.  My weavings are inevitably distortions of the indescribable beauty I feel inside.  To become enamored of them is to attach to the distortion.  To love without attachment is to honor the creative force embodied within them.  To let go is to acknowledge the abundance from which they sprang and from which sufficiently more will arise to take their place.

Self reflection:  How can I manifest 'divine intention' in my daily life?  Where could I practice letting go of 'my way' during the waning weeks of this moon cycle?

October's Moon Totem in Full Splendor

Karen's 

A glance through my picture window,

With a sudden catch-breath,

Only inches away, I spy

Industrious creatrix.

Her abdomen, a gold and black mandala,

Wavers in wind gusts.

Legs extending equidistant,

Effect a delicate balancing act

On her woven work.

Braided zigzag anchors

Webbed hemispheric artifice.

Moment to moment, this:

A mindful solitary sentry
Suspended,

Grounded.


October Totem by Karen Newmand

Self Reflection:  Little spider is a powerful totem. Am I noticing more spiders in my life?  Am I living spider's gifts?

Resentment Prevention

It's hard to walk in truth in the world  with resentment as a body guard.

In my own life, I see how I have used my resentments as sentinels to protect my feelings, my ego and my needs.  Instead of developing clean and appropriate boundaries, I learned to carry around a psychic clip board reminding me of the hurtful  things people, places and things had and could inflict on me. Using this awareness helped me remain in an almost constant posture of defense, Not only is this stance terribly wearing on the physical body, it prevents an accurate assessment of our world and of ourselves.

Self Reflection: Am I willing to learn how to ask clearly for what I need or want, to state my preferences, to be able to accept disappointments, and make different (often better) responses/choices?

Serendipity and Synchronicity

The day after I dreamed of children jumping on my web, I visited our local arboretum with a friend and her daughter.  Lo and behold a giant spider web had been built in the children's garden! gleefully, my friend's daughter climbed aboard and began jumping on the rope web.  Universe has offered synchronicity for my dream. I take this serendipity seriously. Synchronicity is a call to pay attention.

Self Reflection: In the web of my life, what patterns of synchronicity are showing up? There is a pattern. I need only take the time and create a space for looking, sensing, seeing to notice.  What might the gift of this pattern be showing me, pointing toward?

Dreaming the Web

What does it mean to have a dream where children are jumping on your web like a trampoline?
That was the dream that woke me up, and I couldn't get the image out of my head.

As it would happen, a friend of mine, an 'Irish elder' happened to call me later in the morning. I couldn't resist sharing my dream with her.  She is second generation in the US, but I still hear the Irish brogue of her ancestors in the wisdom coming through her:  Here is the essences of her counsel:
"Ahhh, well, you know, in the old ways, the spider is the totem for the weavers of wisdom. It sounds like your being asked to be a place for the children to come to learn wisdom and be nourished. Just now there's a dearth of nourishment on the planet for our children.  And a dearth of caring for your own inner-child as well.  And I don't mean you should be enabling her...and don' take yourself too seriously either. There's way too much of that."

I choose to take my dream seriously.  I hope I'm not taking myself too seriously. I'm glad to say my web in my dream seemed quite bouncy and resilient.

Self Reflection Prayer:  May the weaving of our lives be resilient, strong and flexible.  May they be places for sharing wisdom, nourishment and fun, for ourselves and for others,  most especially children.